


love is patient, love is kind

by afire



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: F/F, Internalized Homophobia, compulsory heterosexuality, i'll tag other stuff if they crop up in other parts, this is mostly a what if riley moved to london fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-09-20 11:07:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9488393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afire/pseuds/afire
Summary: Riley’s always been sure of herself, at least where her feelings are concerned, but life gets harder as you get older and maybe she’s not as put together as she seems. Some people take a little longer to sort things out, but everyone gets their happily ever after in the end, even in the most roundabout of ways.





	1. forever (and please don't go)

 

Her world has stopped spinning, or maybe it’s spinning faster than ever, she doesn’t know. All Riley knows is that she and Maya are supposed to be forever. Forever means never-ending, it means until the end of time and everything after that. Right now Maya is gripping onto her hand so tightly that Riley doubts she’s ever letting go.

“Mom?”

Topanga looks between the both of them, and Riley can see her answer before she even says it. Maya’s impossibly tight grip tightens even more.

“I told them yes.”

And it is then that Riley realizes her world, possibly, is no longer hers.

**...**

Auggie doesn’t stop crying. He hasn’t stopped crying since Mom told him, it’s like all the tears he didn’t shed because he was a reasonably good kid are making their appearance now.

Ava comes over and they spend hours on the couch just sitting next to each other, her arm around his shoulder. Riley can tell she wants to cry, too, but is willing herself not to, because Auggie needs someone strong to lean on.

She wishes she could say the same about Maya, but her best friend hasn’t been over since the day Topanga told them her decision. They’re leaving right at the beginning of summer and Riley wants so badly to bring Maya with her, at least for three months, but she can’t if Maya keeps avoiding her.

Riley hasn’t seen her best friend in two weeks and there’s a perpetual ache in her chest whenever she looks at her closed window.

Part of her wants to resent Maya for keeping her distance, but deep down Riley knows why her best friend is doing this. Every moment they spend together now is going to be bittersweet and painful, but goddamnit Riley misses Maya so much it feels like her heart is splitting down the middle.

Maya doesn’t show at the airport, either, and Riley figures it’s for the best. She’s a crying mess, a bundle of tears in Farkle’s arms, then Zay’s, and even Isadora’s. Lucas smiles his slow, Texan smile and Riley wants to hate herself for doing this, but just like she knows why Maya is keeping her distance, she knows this is the right thing to do.

It feels like a scene out of a bad movie, breaking up with her boyfriend at the door of the departure hall. Riley ends it as cleanly as she can, keeping her words clipped and to the point. She doesn’t let herself listen to Lucas telling her that they can make it work because she knows that they can’t. The chances of their relationship surviving high school were slim enough, but her being on another continent altogether is throwing the entire thing out the metaphorical window.

And then she’s sobbing again, at the thought of windows and climbing in through the right one and beautiful girls with pretty blue eyes.

Cory leads her toward the departure hall and Riley lets him, wanting to just be held by her dad for a while. It hurts that Maya isn’t here but Riley knows it’ll hurt that much more if she were. In a way, this is why they’re best friends, because they know what’s best for each other.

And however much she believes in them, Riley just needs to know if this changes anything at all, because her life just got uprooted and she needs something to keep her anchored to who she’s supposed to be.

Maya should know that, and Riley needs her to trust herself, just this once, because if she doesn’t, everything will fall apart, and Riley doesn’t know what she’ll do if that happens.

**...**

London is cold.

That’s the first thing Riley notices. It’s cold and it’s raining and her dusty pink ballet pumps are soaked through within the first ten minutes.

The rain beats against the tall French windows of her new bedroom, the one with high ceilings and parquet floors and translucent white curtains. It’s a great room with a great view of downtown London, but Riley misses another room with another view.

She misses the warm presence of a familiar body sitting next to hers, and the delicate alto of her favorite voice.

Riley sits down on her bed, queen-sized and already fitted with brand new sheets. There’s a full-length mirror tucked into the corner of her new room, the frame ornate and gold. It’s right next to the walk-in closet, its surface a dark silver in the muted darkness of the room.

She stands up, rips the curtains from the French widows, and drapes them over the mirror.

Riley pretends she doesn’t hear when her mother calls her down for dinner and falls asleep to the steady rhythm of the rain that’s still falling.

She dreams of blonde and blue and an overwhelming sadness that’s so thick it’s tangible.

**...**

Summer in London is different from summer in New York. The air is heavier, more humid, and it rains a great deal more than she’s used to. Riley has to consciously remind herself to bring an umbrella when she leaves the house, not that she does that often, anyway.

Her father makes dozens of attempts to coax her out of their new apartment, but as much as Riley detests her new room, she hates the idea of leaving the apartment even more. It feels like a sin to be exploring a new place without Maya by her side, Riley keeps to herself and spends most of her time in her room, staring at the window.

The doorbell rings one day when she’s home alone. Riley doesn’t quite remember where the rest of her family is, except for Auggie, who sits at the park as religiously as she sits in her room.

She almost doesn’t open the door, but does so out of shock when she looks through the peephole and sees her uncle Shawn. He’s standing with his hands in his pockets and a forlorn expression on his face when Riley wrenches the door open.

“Uncle Shawn?”

“Hey, sorry for dropping by unannounced,” he says, hastily adding, “your dad didn’t know either,” when Riley’s eyes narrow.

“Do you wanna come in?” She asks, because it’s the polite thing to do, and Uncle Shawn isn’t the type to ask too many probing questions. Maybe she’s being selfish in wanting a presence in the house that isn’t trying to shake her out of New York, but in her defense, Riley needs someone to just sit quietly and not judge her.

“Not really, but I have someone here who does.”

Shawn steps aside and Riley’s vision tunnels when she sees who’s standing behind him.

Her heart stops, lurching up into her throat, and her stomach tightens dangerously. Riley can feel the familiar spirals of anxiety start creeping it’s way into the space between her ribs and her skin.

She barely hears uncle Shawn when he says he’ll be back later to pick Maya up, and then it’s just the both of them, standing in the doorway of Riley’s new apartment. It doesn’t feel like they’ve been best friends their entire lives; Riley suddenly feels too tall, too clumsy, like she’s taking up too much space, like she’s never felt while standing next to Maya.

Maya isn’t meeting her eyes, shuffling her paint-splattered Chucks back and forth on her side of the doorway. Her hands are stuffed into the back pocket of her jeans, and her hair is a mess, not the usual careful ‘just rolled out of bed’ look she pulls off so well, but genuinely messy. Blonde curls tangle around her ears and her bangs are a mess around her face so that Riley can’t see the blue eyes she misses so much.

It hits her then that she hasn’t seen or spoken to Maya for a month. The thought is like a freight train to her chest, and Riley chokes in a sob, bringing her hands to her mouth.

Maya’s head shoots up and she reaches out, her first instinct to take care of Riley, just like it always has been. That’s the breaking point, something snaps, because suddenly Riley is pulling her best friend over the threshold and into her arms and _god_ she’s missed Maya so damn much.

They stay like that for what seems like forever, until Maya pulls back and Riley manages to get a good look at her. It’s been a very long month for the both of them, it seems, because Maya looks wrecked. Her eyes are bloodshot and the bags under them are so dark it looks like she’s drawn them on with the charcoal she likes to use to sketch landscapes.

Riley knows she doesn’t look much better, and for one very selfish moment, she celebrates the fact that this has affected Maya as much as it has affected her, but she chases the thought away as fast as it arrives. Of _course_ Maya has been affected, they’re best friends, sometimes it feels like they’re so much more, this separation has hurt the both of them in unimaginable ways.

Riley leads Maya to her room wordlessly, easing the door shut and sitting down on the spot on her bed she’s occupied so often that there’s a light dent in the mattress. Maya looks around slowly, trailing her fingers over the curtain that’s still thrown haphazardly over the mirror before making her way to the window.

She throws the top layer open and leans out so far that Riley’s scrambling over herself to get off her bed and across the room.

Her voice bounces off the walls, rough and hardly recognizable. “Maya!”

Her best friend spins around, blue eyes wide at Riley’s outstretched arms. She takes the offered hand, stepping closer, away from the window. “I’m not going anywhere,” she says, and the unspoken _‘again’_ floats through the room like a virus neither of them want to touch.

Riley pulls Maya close and they both end up on the floor, legs impossibly tangled. Suddenly the room that felt more like a prison cell than home morphs into a safe space, all because Maya is sitting here next to her, holding her hand.

Sunlight pours in through the open window, and Riley marvels at the fact that it isn’t raining. Golden rays slant across the wooden floor and she can see dust particles dancing in the air.

London is beautiful, but, Riley thinks as she turns to Maya, who’s staring out the window with the purest expression on her face, the girl sitting next to her is even more so.

“Are we okay?” Maya asks, voice soft and quiet and so, so warm. It breaks on the tail-end of the question and Riley’s heart along with it.

“I missed you so much,” she says, in lieu of a proper answer, or maybe that’s the best answer she can give.

“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry I left without telling you why, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you goodbye at the airport, I’m sorry it took me so long to come back to you,” Maya continues, the grip she has on Riley’s hand tightening, “I’m sorry for not being there when you needed me.”

“But you’re here now.” Riley says gently, tugging lightly on Maya’s hand so the other girl will turn and look her in the eye. “You’re here now, you’re not running away from this, you’re apologizing. You’re being my best friend.”

Maya’s shoulders tighten, and suddenly she’s crying freely, climbing into Riley’s lap, “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, honey, I love you so much and I’m sorry.”

Riley’s arms wrap around Maya instinctively, “It’s okay peaches, I forgive you.”

**...**

Uncle Shawn comes back that evening, and they’re still sitting on the same spot in the middle of Riley’s bedroom floor.

“All good?” He asks, raising a single eyebrow.

Riley almost laughs when Maya opens her mouth to answer him but looks to Riley for confirmation first. She figured this is a sign that they’re really okay now.

“Better than ever,” Riley says, and Maya relaxes, the tension leaving her shoulders.

This time, Maya says goodbye, she says goodbye so many times the word starts to lose its meaning. Riley clings tightly to her shoulders when they hug in the doorway, making promises to always stay in contact, assuring each other that a little distance won’t break them apart. They’re Riley and Maya, it’ll take a literal apocalypse to pry them away from one another.

Riley tries not to think about how it was so easy to let Lucas go while being separated from Maya makes her feel like her life is splitting down the middle.

Maya leaves her with a kiss to the cheek and a sad little wave. Riley wills herself not to cry, this isn’t an ending, this isn’t an ending because they’ve barely begun.

Riley will be in London and Maya will be in New York and they’ll be okay because they have to be.

They’re forever.

**...**

“-and Farkle doesn’t like the new history teacher, says he doesn’t know enough about how the Stonehenge was constructed or something, which is, honestly, the most ridiculous thing he’s ever said, I mean, who the hell knows what happened back then? Besides your dad I mean, I’m pretty sure he knows everything.”

Riley smiles at the image of Maya on her laptop screen, reaching out a hand to ghost her fingers across the pixels. She feels like someone who’s waiting for a loved one to come back from the war.

“He doesn’t know everything,” she says, amused, “he knows just enough.”

Maya shrugs, and Riley can tell she’s chewing on gum, probably spearmint, “Well, the new history teacher isn’t _bad_ , but I still prefer your dad.” She lifts a finger and narrows her eyes, “Don’t tell him I said that.”

Riley laughs, “I think he knows you think he’s a good teacher.”

Maya smiles at her, all teeth and unrestrained happiness. “Yeah, bummer.”

There’s silence for a while, in which they both just look at each other. Riley is struck suddenly by the fact that they’re growing up, they’re getting older, and for all their Skype calls and constant texting, they’re not growing up together. She supposes she should be grateful that they’re not growing _apart_ , but Riley can’t help but feel immensely sad that she isn’t facing the world with Maya at her side, like she should be.

“What are you thinking?”

“That if I can’t convince my parents to go back to New York for Christmas, I’m buying a ticket and going myself.”

Maya’s eyes widen, Riley has a moment where she thinks the resolution of her laptop screen is simply not doing Maya justice; her eyes are definitely prettier than that, and then Maya’s grinning widely, “You’re coming home for Christmas?”

“Technically, I’m coming home for you,” Riley says, delighting in the pink that dusts across Maya’s cheeks, evident even on her laptop screen, “but yeah, I was going to surprise you-” she pauses and waves her hand around in the vaguest of gestures, “but you know how I am with those.”

“As in, you’re incapable of pulling them off,” Maya says, voice lilting in easy familiarity, and Riley feels her stomach drop when her best friend smiles winningly at her, easing the sting of the not-insult with a flash of her pearly whites. This isn’t the first time this has happened, as in, having butterflies explode in her gut when Maya does something particularly soft, but it’s been happening more and more frequently, and Riley’s going to have to actually think about it rather than shove it under the rug and pretend it’s not an issue.

For now, she smiles back, “I guess my present for you this year is me,” she says, referencing last Christmas, when Maya had climbed in through her window with a suitcase and a mouthful of saccharine sweet words.

“Perfect,” Maya says simply, her smile fading into the one that only Riley gets to see, open and a little vulnerable, like she fully trusts whoever it’s directed to.

The butterflies go to war in her stomach and all Riley can do is smile back.

**...**

They’ve kept their apartment in New York, an executive decision made by Topanga. Riley doesn’t really know the details, but they’ve been renting it out for some extra cash, not that they really need it now, anyway. It’s currently in between tenants so they really do go home for Christmas.

Riley stands in the middle of the living room, wondering how the place that used to feel so safe to her now looks so familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time. They’d put up the tree earlier that evening, and it all looks so reminiscent of last year’s Christmas that Riley is suddenly afraid that Maya will go away again.

Their front door falls open and Riley looks up, but it’s not Maya, which is disappointing but not entirely unexpected, Maya’s always had an affinity for making an entrance through the window, anyway.

“Riley!” Farkle’s smiling at her, and Isadora is standing next to him. They’re holding hands and Riley can’t help but grin back.

“Farkle! I’ve missed you.” She steps forward and wraps them both in a hug. Isadora’s hands rest easily on her shoulder blades and Riley is struck by the fact that everyone’s been growing up, and she hasn’t been there to see it. It’s a sobering thought, the fact that she can’t get back the years she’s already lived, that there won’t be another chance to go through sophomore year of high school with her friends.

“What? No hug for me?”

Riley spins around, and the sight of Maya standing in the room they both grew up in, comfortable and at ease, one hand in the back pocket of her skinny jeans, is just a little too much.

She launches herself into her best friend’s arms, surprised when Maya pulls back and laughingly wipes at her cheeks.

“Oh, honey, I _really_ hope these are happy tears.”

Riley chuckles wetly, pulling Maya closer and hugging her tight. “I _have_ to cry, we haven’t seen each other in a year, I need my dramatic reunion.”

Maya’s laughter vibrates into her shoulder and Riley marvels at the fact that this is the where she feels the most at home.

**...**

The apartment fills up quickly, and it’s only really her friends and Katy and Shawn there but Riley feels safe and enveloped in the warmth of the people she loves.

She’s sitting in the living room bay window, watching as Maya laughs at something Auggie had said when Farkle sits down next to her, a grin stretched across his face. “You really love her don’t you?”

Riley turns to him, expression morphing into the incredulous smile that she wears so well, “Of course I do, what do you mean?”

Farkle makes a gesture with his hands that could mean literally anything, “Like, haven’t you-?”

Riley narrows her eyes at him as he cuts himself off with an embarrassed chuckle. “Haven’t I what?”

“Ah, whoops, shouldn’t have said anything, forget about it.”

“No, tell me.”

Farkle looks at her with an unreadable expression on his face. Riley waits the silence out, content to watch as Maya moves around the room with ease.

It’s at least three minutes before Farkle speaks up, “Have you met anyone? In London, I mean.”

Riley looks at him, “I’ve made new friends, but I haven’t replaced you guys, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Farkle’s shaking his head before she even finishes her sentence, “No, I mean, have you _met_ anyone, you know, like-” he pauses, face screwing up before continuing, “romantically.”

Riley stares at him for a few seconds, “No,” she answers shortly, “I have not.”

“Have you ever wondered why?” Farkle asks gently.

There are a million reasons she could come up with, not liking the boys in London, not having enough time to date, not meeting the right people, but Riley has never been one for lying, and she isn’t about to start now, “It just doesn’t feel right, to start anything now.”

“Your life goes on beyond New York, you know,” Farkle says, still in that gentle voice of his that Riley is starting to hate, just a little. When she doesn’t answer, he continues, “None of us will blame you for finding happiness elsewhere.”

“It just doesn’t feel right,” Riley repeats, for once in her life at a loss for anything else to say.

“Why?” Farkle insists.

Her gaze travels toward Maya, who’s talking to Cory now, a stunning grin on her face as she tells a story and Riley’s dad makes, from the looks of it, a very Cory-esque comment.

Farkle sighs from next to her and Riley reverts her attention to him, “What?”

“I’m sorry.”

She frowns, confused and just a little afraid of what he’s about to say, “For what?”

Instead of answering, he says, “You can love her. Maya I mean. And before you say anything, I mean you can _love_ her, like your dad loves your mom, like Shawn loves Katy. You can love Maya, you _do_ love Maya.”

And for the second time in her life, Riley’s world stops spinning, or maybe it’s spinning faster than ever, but right now, she doesn’t have Maya’s hand to hold on to, and everything is quickly spiraling out of her control.


	2. this could be good

"How's it going?" Uncle Shawn asks, after her friends have all left and Maya's somewhere doing something, because this is as much her apartment as it is Riley's.

"Alright."

"No it's not, you have that look on your face," Shawn says, pointing at her with an index finger, "you had that look when I brought Maya to London and you guys just stared at each other for a full minute and I had to stand there awkwardly because I'm not good at emotions."

Riley sighs and turns to face him, "Uncle Shawn?"

"Yes?"

"Did you know I love Maya?"

He quirks an eyebrow at her, "I don't think anybody  _ doesn't _ know."

"No I- I meant,  _ actually _ love her, in the way I should love a cute British boy," Riley says monotonously, because that's just about as much as she can deal with right now.

Shawn pauses, and Riley can tell he's thinking very hard about what he says next. "You can love anyone you want to," he intones slowly, picking up speed as he gains confidence with his words, "and if that's Maya then I'm very happy for you."

"What does this mean?" Riley asks, suddenly afraid, like she's never been about her feelings for Maya. Her head is a swirling mess of thoughts and emotions that she can't categorize right now and she needs someone to tell her what's going to happen next. 

"Nothing, everything, I'm afraid I can't help with this one, some stuff you have to figure out on your own."

Maya clatters loudly into the living room then, clad in flannel pajama pants and an old sleep shirt that blurs around her hips, spinning around until she spots Riley, "There you are, ready for bed?"

Riley blinks, and all she can say is, "Yeah, okay," before standing up, saying goodnight to Shawn and following her best friend to her bedroom, wondering what exactly is going to happen now.

 

**... **

 

The room isn't quiet, but the air feels thick, heavy, permeated by the quiet hum of the fan and the sounds of traffic. New York is the city that never sleeps and Riley's more comfortable here than she is in London, where everything goes soft once the sun sets.

Maya's on her side of the bed, the one nearer the window because she always used to sneak in at night to sleep next to Riley and it just became this unspoken arrangement, that the far side of the bed is more or less Maya's.

Her best friend is asleep but Riley is wide awake, counting to eight and then back down again in time with her breathing. Her head feels like it's filled to the brim with white noise and nonsensical scribbles, like her thoughts aren't hers and she can't quite make sense of anything. There's too much she needs to mull over, too much she needs to make sense of, and she isn't going to be able to solve everything with one night of careful thought, so she might as well go to sleep now and deal with everything in the morning.

Her brain isn't getting the memo, though, and try as she might, Riley can't get to sleep. She turns onto her side, sliding one hand under her pillow and watching as Maya snuffles softly, tucked under the covers and looking more at ease than she's capable of being while awake.

There's ... something. Riley can't quite put her finger on it, but there's just something about this, the familiarity of falling asleep next to her best friend, that assuages her anxieties. Maybe it's the fact that she knows Maya would never leave her, or maybe it's just the feeling she has, being here, in her childhood bedroom, even as she's growing up.

Riley's headspace clears, just for a moment, and she finds herself falling asleep before she can overthink anything else. There's a moment, just a tiny silver of a second, before her eyes fully close, when she briefly contemplates the fact that maybe she's always loved Maya, and just didn't know.

 

**...**

 

"No don't you dare- hey!"

Riley smiles as she watches her friends fool around, content to walk at the back of the group and simply observe. It's some time past noon, or maybe closer to evening, she doesn't know, but the sun is pouring soft, golden rays onto the concrete sidewalk they're currently traipsing down and she feels more relaxed than she has in days.

It hadn't been any easier, this time, leaving her friends behind to come back to this country she's just starting to feel at home in, but Maya had been at the airport, hugging her tight and furiously whispering goodbyes, so Riley sleeps easier in her London bedroom, knowing that they're okay.

Her friends in London are nice, easygoing, they don't mind when she starts rambling about whatever she has her mind on at the moment. Riley appreciates that they understand she has friends back in New York as well, and they never complain when she goes off on a tangent about Maya's latest work of art or how tall Farkle is getting.

They're headed toward the park, and Riley knows they're going to end up sprawled under the large oak tree in the center. Bailey had been the one to first suggest going there to hang out, and since then they've always just reverted to that one spot whenever they had time.

"You alright back there?"

They've stopped at the crossing because the little green man is flashing, and everyone's looking at her with matching looks of quiet amusement. Riley jogs the last couple steps to rejoin the group, grinning sheepishly at the lot of them.

"Sorry, just got lost in my thoughts."

Mia shoulder-checks her gently, "We know," she says, pulling Riley along as the light changes.

Lily comes around to walk on her other side, "Just didn't wanna leave you behind."

The park is quiet, it's that pocket of time between the afternoon and the evening and no one's about at the moment. It feels sleepy for some reason, sitting under a tree as the watery sunlight casts shadows across her friend's faces, peaceful and calm, and Riley finds herself relaxing properly, perhaps for the first time in days.

She's been tense for so long, her thoughts cartwheeling through her head, creating craters of uncertainty. The daily Skype calls with Maya are great, and probably the only reason why Riley hasn't gone stark raving mad. It's strange how Maya is simultaneously, and rather consistently, the source of both her joy and her frustrations. Riley's spent at least an accumulative thirty hours wondering how she's missed the fact that she's been in love with her best friend this entire time, and then another fifteen hours wondering if Maya knows, and then probably another ten panicking about their friendship falling apart because of this anomaly.

Because that's what this is: an anomaly. You're not supposed to fall in love with your best friend, especially if said best friend is of the same gender and probably not en route to questioning their sexuality at all. To say Riley's confused is putting it mildly, to say she's slowly going insane is probably a better way to put it. The point stands, she needs to get over this little hurdle, her future self will thank her for it.

Riley's shaken out of her thoughts by a delighted squeal that, from the looks of it, came from Lily. The girl is clapping her hands together and looking at Bailey, who's blushing and refusing to meet her gaze, in earnest. Mia and Darcy, sitting opposite them, are both smiling, but are visibly better at restraining themselves from exploding with emotion.

Riley's pretty sure she knows which side of the spectrum she falls on.

"Is it that guy from your physics class? Is it? The blonde one, what's his name? Nathan? He's on the football team isn't he?" Lily's bombarding Bailey with questions and the poor boy looks like he's at his wit's end.

"Let him talk, Lily," Darcy says, leaning forward and resting his arms on his crossed legs, but he's smiling, so there's really no bite to the statement, "you're gonna scare him off."

Lily pouts, but takes his advice and remains silent, instead grinning as Bailey fumbles his way through a response.

"I- well, I mean, he uh, asked me to go to the Midsummer Festival with him."

And Lily's off again, hungry for details even as Mia tries to dissuade her from literally dragging the story out of Bailey.

But Riley isn't listening, had stopped listening sometime around 'asked me to go to the Midsummer Festival' because Bailey's a boy and so is Nathan, and her visor of peace and calm is slowly cracking around the edges.

Bailey's a boy and so is Nathan. If you ask someone to go to the Midsummer Festival with you it's essentially a date, that's the whole point of the occasion, and Bailey's a boy and so is Nathan. It's a date, Nathan asked Bailey out on a date, and it's ... normal. It's normal, no one's freaking out, no one's reeling back in confusion and disgust, if anything, everyone seems to support it.

Lily's so excited she's talking a mile a minute, Mia's smiling as she watches a blushing Bailey stammer out his story, and Darcy's lain down, his eyes closed, but Riley can tell he's listening because he smiles when Mia smacks Lily on the shoulder and scolds her for being too forward.

Bailey's a boy and so is Nathan and it's okay, it's fine, it's good.

Riley leans back against the tree trunk and breathes a little easier, feels a weight she hadn't known she'd been carrying lift off her shoulders.

Because Bailey's a boy and so is Nathan, and if it's okay, and fine, and good, then maybe it's okay, and fine, and good, if Riley's a girl and so is Maya.

Maybe.

Possibly.

"You've got to introduce us! At the festival! Mia, come to the festival with me."

"Sure."

Definitely.

 

**... **

 

They're all sitting in a booth at _Racy's_ , a diner near their school. It's Saturday, the Midsummer's Festival is tomorrow, and Lily is trying to convince Riley to go with them. The thing is, Riley's made the decision to go already, but the sight of Lily adamantly listing all the pros of going to the Festival while Mia, next to her, sighs in that long-suffering way of hers, is quite amusing.

"You don't even need a date, seriously, just come and have fun! There'll be cotton candy!" 

And, well, if Riley hadn't already decided, that sort of seals the deal.

She's about to tell Lily when the door to the diner opens and a bunch of boys walk in. Riley recognizes them from school, mainly because Lily has been drilling Bailey for information on his date and inadvertently got him to describe the entire football team, in excruciating detail.

One of them, Connor, if Riley remembers correctly, breaks from the pack and makes his way over to their table. She assumes he's there to talk to Bailey, or Mia since she's a cheerleader, and so is understandably surprised when he comes to a stop next to her and clears his throat.

Riley blinks up at him, strawberry milkshake temporarily forgotten, "Can I help you?"

Connor stuffs his hands into his pockets in a way that's so reminiscent of Maya that Riley finds herself completely missing the first half of his sentence because she was too busy thinking of her best friend.

"-to the Festival with me?"

A glance to her right reveals Lily practically on the edge of her seat, and even Bailey, Mia and Darcy are looking on in interest.

Riley smiles, mostly in apology because lord knows she can't say yes to him, before replying, "I'm flattered, but I can't, I'm sorry."

Connor's face twists in confusion, "I- why? Sorry, I just, thought you didn't have a date."

"I don't," Riley says truthfully, because the only person she wants to take to the Festival is on the other side of the world, probably asleep.

"Then, why?" He looks completely baffled that a girl without a date to the Festival would say no to him. And whilst it's a little convoluted, Riley does see how Connor would expect anyone he asked to say yes, in an arbitrary way.

The thing is, Riley could say yes, and would, if she hadn't recently discovered that she's been hopelessly in love with her best friend, possibly for quite a long while. She could easily just tell Connor she isn't looking for a relationship, but even she can tell the reason's going to fall flat, and, truth be told, Riley's tired.

She's tired of pushing the problem away, tired of ignoring the feelings, tired of hating herself for loving someone, when she should be celebrating the fact. Mostly, she's tired of lying, so instead of coming up with a million (fake) reasons for why she can't go to the Festival with him, Riley simply says, "I'm in love with someone else, and it wouldn't be fair to her if I said yes to you."

It's not until Connor returns to his friends that Riley remembers she has three of her own to deal with. The moment she turns around Lily is all business, "Come on then, spill!"

"You don't have to tell us if you don't want to," Mia says kindly, and something in her eyes tells Riley that she knows, or has a good guess.

"Yeah don't listen to Lily, you know how she gets," Darcy adds with a wink.

"I'm right here you guys!"

"She can be a bit excitable," Bailey says, pretending not to have heard as he reaches across the table to pat Riley on the hand. 

"Again, I'm sitting right here."

Riley laughs at the sight of Lily vehemently crossing her arms and alternately glaring at their three friends. "It's alright guys, I don't mind." If she did, she wouldn't even have told Connor, but it had been easier to admit it to an almost stranger than people she's come to call her friends.

There's less to lose, less to worry about, if you tell a stranger. Telling a friend, someone you care about, that's difficult. It's difficult because there is so much more to lose, there is friendship and love and someone you've come to rely on. It's so much harder telling someone you know because if things don't turn out well, you'll have to deal with the consequences, and as difficult as admitting a hard truth can be, it's a thousand times worse when the person you thought you could trust decides to walk away.

But, Riley thinks, looking at Bailey's kind eyes and Darcy's artificial casual indifference, and Mia and Lily, who are definitely holding hands under the table, she thinks she'll be alright with these people. Her friends.

"I- it's Maya. I love Maya, have for some time, really."

She waits, braces herself for the fallout, but it doesn't come. Instead, there's Bailey grinning wide at her, and Mia asking her how she knew. There's Darcy taking out his wallet and offering to buy them all another round of milkshakes to celebrate and Lily's thousand and one questions.

There is no fallout, only acceptance, and laughter, and love.

So when Lily asks, "Why don't you tell her?"

Riley says, "I think I will."

 

**... **

 

Of course, telling someone you're in love with them is much easier said then done.

Originally, Riley had planned to tell Maya over one of their daily Skype calls, because she figured if things didn't work out she could just hit 'end call' and go back to sitting in the dark and pondering the consequences of her actions.

That had been the plan. Unfortunately the plan sort of derailed because no matter how hard she tries Riley can't quite get the words out. She talks about Bailey's date and her schoolwork and the big tree in the park and literally everything else her mind can latch onto, but she just can't tell Maya she loves her.

Which is insane, really. Absurd. Telling Maya she loves her is probably one of the easiest things Riley's ever said. Of course, all the previous times she said it, there hadn't been an underlying current of meaning to them, just the words themselves, simple and sweet.

Now? Well, now's an entirely different story.

"Riles? You okay there?"

Riley snaps back to attention, blinking owlishly, "What? Yeah, I'm fine, why?"

"You froze for a moment there," Maya says with a frown, and Riley can tell she's moving her mouse around, "might've just been my laptop finally deciding to give up."

Maya's clicking at something on her screen that Riley can't see, and the entire scene is just so familiar and comforting, a pocket of time in which Riley could live forever with no complaints.

"Peaches?"

"Hmm?" Maya asks distractedly, brows furrowed as the clicking slows down, and Riley knows she's listening.

"I've been in love with you since, I don't know, forever maybe."

Her voice is casual, like she's just pointed out a cute dog on the sidewalk or made a comment about how cold it is, but the cadence of her tone, and the obvious feigned nonchalance is enough for Maya to stop clicking entirely and look up. 

"What?"

"I love you, I'm in love with you, but it's okay if-"

"No!" Maya anticipates her words, reaching a hand toward the webcam on her computer as if she can stop Riley from talking, "No, no, no, don't even think that. Let me just," she shifts, and the laptop bounces up and down for a moment before settling again, "honey, I love you too."

There are emotions in Maya's voice that even Riley can't decipher, but the one thing she can hear is the sheer amount of warmth, braided with tinges of disbelief.

And then Maya says, dead serious, "I really want to kiss you right now."

Riley stares, and then she laughs, because there is a huge weight off her shoulders and she suddenly feels light enough to float away. She laughs because Maya is smiling at her through her screen and neither of them hit the 'end call' button. She laughs because  _ god _ she wants to kiss Maya too.

And because it's seems like they're on a roll with this confessing their feelings thing, Riley adds, "I was scared there would be someone else." Because she was, because even if she spent ages secretly pining over Maya, it doesn't mean her best friend had been doing the same thing.

She needn't have worried though, because Maya laughs, light and airy, and says, "Honey, there was only ever you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that a lot of you might think Riley's 'transition', for lack of a better term, was too abrupt and unrealistic, but hear me out. I wanted to write this to explore the fact that the only reason Riley didn't realize her feelings for Maya earlier was the fact that she just didn't know. She didn't _know_ you could fall in love your best friend of the same gender, she didn't know that it was an option. And this, I know, is completely realistic, because it was what I grew up with. The only reason I didn't spend ages hating myself for not liking boys because the community that told me there were other options was the same community that _accepted_ queerness. The only reason I didn't experience too much internalized homophobia, or experience it at all really, is because I was introduced to queerness at the same time that I was introduced to queerness being an accepted aspect of myself.
> 
> So what I'm saying here is, even though Cory and Topanga might not necessarily be homophobic (and really, I don't think they are) Riley just wasn't brought up in an environment where she knew being gay was a thing. It wasn't avoided, per se, just never actively discussed or brought to the table. And so because Riley was surrounded by this, however unintentional, compulsory heterosexuality, she quite simply could not see herself loving Maya, in the romantic sense anyway. It's the only logical conclusion I could come to, what with the events that transpired in the show.
> 
> Adding to that, I wanted to write about how important normalizing queerness is, and how toxic casual homophobia can be. I can assure you that, in my opinion, the number one way to combat internalized homophobia is to surround yourself with people that actively support queerness. Because Riley's friends treated queerness as something inherently everyday and _normal_ she found it easy to accept that yes, she loves Maya, and yes it's okay. Another thing is the fact that Riley wasn't brought up with the notion that being queer was bad, in any sense at all, she might not have been exposed to this, but it hadn't been drilled into her mind that she could be hated for loving a girl. This, I think, helped too, because the only reason she had to hate herself for, in the discovery of being in love with Maya, is that fact that she might be different. Throughout the show we see Riley constantly wanting to fit in somehow, and because she was surrounded by all this compulsory heterosexuality, she saw herself as different, as 'other' because she loved another girl. And, of course, she's afraid that she'll somehow push Maya away with these feelings, which is something that she actively wants to avoid.
> 
> Putting all of this together, I think the timeline of this fic is entirely realistic, according to how I characterized Riley in this verse. You're welcome to disagree with me, in fact, you're welcome to talk to me about this, I'd love to have a discussion. Find me at my [tumblr](taylorswift.co.vu), or if you'd prefer, my [rilaya sideblog](hartthews.co.vu) so we can talk!


	3. safety and home

Some things resolve themselves like this:

"Mom, Dad, I love Maya, we're dating now."

"Oh, that's wonderful dear, you two have always been a perfect match."

"Yeah, that's great! No sleepovers in the same room anymore."

 

**...**

 

Riley's sitting in her desk chair, making an attempt to at least start the essay that's due when the term begins when her laptop starts chirping and the Skype icon bounces up and down on her taskbar.

Lily, who's over because she can't study at home, is immediately at her shoulder. Mia, Bailey and Darcy, who are huddled in a corner working on a group project of theirs, look up in curiosity, though they're relatively less outwardly excited than Lily is.

Riley sighs, but she's grinning because Maya's calling, and she's always happy when Maya calls.

"Hey!" She says, after hitting the 'accept call' button. "How're you doing? How's that painting you've been working on? Is school going okay?"

Maya's laughing, and Riley can tell she's sitting in front of the window in her bedroom because the sun is shining through the curtains and her girlfriend looks absolutely beautiful, bathed in golden rays of light.

"I'm doing fine; the painting's almost done, I can show you if you want, and school is alright, same as always," Maya answers, squinting at her screen, "who's that hovering behind you?"

Riley turns to see all four of her friends attempting to peer over her shoulder and rolls her eyes, but dutifully rolls her wheelie-chair to the left so they can squeeze into the frame. "This is Lily, Mia, Bailey, and Darcy, they're all very nosy and don't know how to mind their own business."

Out of the four of them, Lily is the only one who bothers to look affronted, the other three simply ignore the friendly jab and proceed to say hello to Maya, who's taking all this in her stride.

Riley wheels her chair out of the way and her friends immediately occupy the newly vacant space, Maya's voice filters out through her laptop speakers and she's gripped suddenly with how much she's missed her girlfriend.

Her _girlfriend_ , that won't ever get old. Maya's her girlfriend now, she fell in love with her best friend and now they're dating and Riley can't help but smile at the thought.

"Earth to Riley!" Darcy's snapping his fingers in front of her face, laughing as she blinks, "We've been calling your name for like a minute."

Riley flushes, wheeling herself back to her desk, "Are you guys done harassing my girlfriend, now?"

Lily opens her mouth, presumably to protest, or tease, it could really be either one, but Mia tugs gently on her arm and they gravitate to the corner where the group project papers are still scattered on the floor. Bailey and Darcy trot after them and Riley finally turns back to her laptop, plugging her earphones in so that her friends can't eavesdrop, like she knows they'll try.

"Hi," Riley breathes and when Maya smiles at her the butterflies explode but her stomach is warm and she feels so, so loved.

"Hey," Maya says back, and in this moment, this little bubble of time, it's just them. Riley is struck suddenly by the fact that it's always been just them, it was them in the beginning, and it's them now, no matter how twisted and turned around the road here became, and it will be them until the end of time.

Riley and Maya. They're forever.

"I love you," she says, and Maya glows. Riley only notices because she's been so in tune with Maya's little intricacies for so long. She straightens up and her smile widens and she glows, somehow, through the webcam and the pixels on Riley's laptop screen.

"I love you too, honey."

It's something else, this feeling, something that Riley can't quite explain, mostly because she doesn't think anyone can. There are no words that can describe how she feels, nothing she can come up with, that will compare to this warmth in her chest and the happy contentment that's swimming around her head.

She wants to tell Maya all this, that nothing else has ever made Riley feel like she feels around her, but, even three thousand four hundred and fifty nine miles apart, she thinks Maya knows.

Because Maya always knows, even when Riley won't say it, can't say it, Maya knows. So instead of that, she simply grins, leaning closer to her laptop in an attempt to soak the interaction up, because this is as close as they can get to going out on a date.

"Tell me about school."

Maya launches into a rant about the report she had to write up for an experiment they did in science, and Riley responds, with that easy back and forth they've always had, even when they were fighting, especially when they were apart.

This, this she can do. She's comfortable and warm and Maya's smiling that soft smile that she knows is reserved for her. Riley smiles back, all teeth and unrestrained happiness, because she misses Maya in a way that's so physical it aches, but she knows they'll find their way back to each other again.

They always do.

**...**

 

She's sitting on the steps outside her high school with Mia, waiting for Lily to finish talking to her Geography teacher about some holiday project, when her phone starts ringing.

Mia bites back the sentence she was just about to say, gesturing to Riley in that universal 'get your call' way. Riley fishes her phone out of her bag, waving at Lily when she emerges from the building and immediately glues herself to Mia's side.

She glances down at her phone, brows furrowing when she sees it's an unknown number. Riley turns back to her friends, "Should I get it?"

Lily leans over and purses her lips, "Why not? You don't usually get calls do you? It's probably important."

Mia just shrugs, which means she agrees with Lily, but she rarely ever disagrees with her girlfriend, so Riley just smiles and rolls her eyes, deciding it couldn't hurt.

"Hello?"

"Riles? Thank god, I was beginning to worry I called the wrong number and I only have so much credit."

"Maya? What's going on? Why did you switch numbers? Is everything okay?"

She doesn't get to hear Maya's answer because there's a squeal from behind her and Riley spins around to see Lily jumping up and down, clapping her hands, while Mia smiles at someone she can't quite see.

"Guys what's-"

Riley doesn't finish the sentence, because Maya's suddenly stepping out from behind a tree, phone still pressed to her ear as she grins and waves at Riley.

Riley, for her part, doesn't drop her phone immediately, which is a feat in and of itself. She blinks once, twice, then launches herself forward, wrapping her arms around Maya, who stumbles backward, laughing.

"Peaches, oh my god. How are you here? I'm-? Oh my god, I'm so- "

Maya hugs her tighter and Riley breathes her in, the scent of summertime and turpentine that always lingers on her skin, and feels more at home than she's ever felt in this country.

"I missed you so much."

Maya pulls back just enough to look her in the eye, and the butterflies come to life in Riley's gut again, fluttering up to her throat as she swallows.

"I'm going to kiss you now."

Maya leans forward slowly, giving Riley enough time to pull away, the idea of which is absurd, Riley closes the distance herself.

She'd be lying if she said she hasn't thought about kissing Maya, but imagining it and actually getting to do it are two extremely different things. Maya's not soft, not by a long shot, but she folds into Riley perfectly, like they were made to be together. For the first time in her life, Riley truly feels like there is a place that was handmade for her, carved out of love and warmth, somewhere she will always belong.

Kissing Maya is indescribable, it feels like there's a low fire burning in her gut, and her heart is so happy, and so content, and she never wants to stop. Riley traces the curve of Maya's hip over the loose hoodie she's wearing and finally pulls away when she needs to catch her breath.

Maya is flushed and she has this dreamy, faraway look in her blue eyes. Riley smiles as she reaches up to wipe a smudge of lipgloss off the corner of her mouth, certain that she looks no better. Her hair, for one, is definitely messy beyond help, but she doesn't care, because Maya is here, bouncing on the balls of her feet and looking uncharacteristically shy for someone who just flew across the ocean to surprise visit her girlfriend.

"Hi," Riley says, because that's just about as much as her brain can handle right now.

"Hey," Maya responds, with laughter and disbelief and happiness ringing in her voice, and Riley has never been more sure of the fact that this girl right here is her forever.

 

**...**

 

Bailey meets her at the door of the diner with a shit-eating grin on his face and Riley knows she's never going to hear the end of this, but Maya's holding her hand and looking irresistibly adorable in her oversized hoodie and jeans combo, so she doesn't really mind.

Racy's is brightly lit, and the linoleum floor looks like it's been freshly polished. Bailey makes a beeline for the booth that they usually occupy, Riley following and pulling Maya along with her, turning to back smile winningly at her girlfriend before coming to a stop by the table.

"Hey," she says, nudging Maya forward a little, because she's hanging back and shouldn't have to, "this is Maya Penelope Hart-"

Maya blinks in surprise at the use of her full name and Riley grins even wider, "She's my girlfriend and I love her an awful lot, be gentle."

Riley can tell Lily is only staying in her seat because Mia has an arm around her shoulders, and Darcy is smiling like he only does when he's sincerely happy, and Bailey's grinning so wide Riley's sure his jaws hurt, but they're all sticking their hands out at the same time and trying to be the first one to introduce themselves and Maya's looking a bit out of her depth and Riley is so happy that both parts of her life are colliding in the most spectacular of ways.

Everyone squishes toward the other side of the little cushioned circle so Riley can slide in and pull Maya with her, tangling their fingers under the table even as she reaches over to snag a fry off Lily's plate.

"It's nice to finally meet you," Darcy says, always the gentleman, "outside of Riley's Skype calls."

Maya shifts so that she's pressed more securely into Riley before replying, "You too, although I've heard so much about you guys it feels like we've already met."

"All good things, I hope," Bailey says with a gleeful grin.

"Nah, Riley only ever complains about you, she's got nothing nice to say," Maya replies, completely serious, and Riley gasps, leaning forward.

"Don't listen to her," she says hurriedly, but everyone's laughing and even Maya looks surprised at their reaction, she turns to Riley with a disbelieving smile on her face and Riley can't help but lean forward to kiss her once, quickly.

"Love you," she whispers, and Maya beams, the personification of sunshine. When Riley turns back all her friends are grinning slyly at her and she resolutely ignores them, instead turning to Bailey and asking him how Nathan's doing.

"Great! He was going to be here today but has some last minute football practice thing," Bailey says in reply, and then without hesitation, "he asked me to the Midsummer Festival again-"

"Oh! Right!" Lily interrupts, seemingly unknowingly, she turns to Mia, who's leaning against the back of the booth and watching them all, "come to the Festival with me this year?" Her voice is confident but Riley can see the slightest hint of worry in her twisting fingers.

Mia turns to her, blinking nonchalantly, "Who else would I go with?"

Lily's hands fall to her lap as she smiles, and as loud as she can be sometimes, her voice is quiet when she says, "No one."

And maybe it's the timing, or her friends, or Maya's surprise visit, which plays a large part Riley must admit, but she's happier than she's ever been, sitting here in this diner booth, laughing at everything and nothing at the same time.

 

**...**

 

Riley finds out her parents have been planning this for months when she gets home and her dad's there to lecture her about proper sleepover etiquette and rules and what's allowed and what's not while her mom beckons Maya over for a hug.

There's a flurry of movement when Auggie shoots out of his room and into Maya's arms and then Riley's fumbling for her phone to snap a photo because she's not the only one that's missed Maya a hell of a lot.

Her bags are already in Riley's room, sitting at the foot of the bed, and Riley raises an eyebrow. "How'd you know where I was?"

"I might have Skyped your friends and asked them," Maya says sheepishly, gesturing to where Riley's laptop is sitting on her desk. "I like your password."

Riley blushes, because of _course_ Maya would figure out her password without much trouble. "Me too," she says, before flopping backwards onto her bed, "what kind of clothes did you bring?"

Maya frowns, spinning Riley's wheelie-chair around and sitting on it backwards, "Warm clothes? You told me it rains a lot."

"They switch the Festival date around so there's no rain when it's on," Riley says, before sitting up, "you're coming with me, right?"

Maya has that look in her eye, and sure enough she responds with, "I don't know, you haven't asked."

Riley shoots her a glare before it dissolves into a grudging smile, "Would you, Maya Hart, do me the honor of accompanying me to the Midsummer Festival?"

Maya grins now, wide and unrestrained, "It would be my pleasure."

 

**...**

 

The Festival starts proper at five in the evening but everyone always shows up at noon because that's when all the booths and rides start opening. Riley's making a beeline for the cotton candy stand when she hears someone holler her name.

She pivots, holding Maya's hand tightly so they don't get separated in the crowd, and sees Bailey waving at her from the whack-a-mole booth. Standing next to him is Nathan, looking very dapper in his varsity jacket and sunglasses combo. Mia's on Bailey's other side, with Lily draped over her shoulders, and Darcy's nowhere to be seen.

Riley makes her way over to them, cutting through the crowd, "Hey! I was just about to get some cotton candy. Where's Darcy?"

"We can all get some," Bailey says, "and he went to grab programs for the show later, you know how he gets about these musical acts."

Darcy makes it a point to take note of everyone who sings at the Festival, it's usually local bands and people who want a taste of the spotlight, but he wants to be a producer someday and needs to learn how to spot a future star, or something.

"I'll text him to say we're going to the cotton candy booth," Lily says, untangling herself from Mia before pulling her phone out of her pocket.

Four pings sound at once and Mia laughs, "You didn't have to text the group chat."

"Of course I did, that way he knows we all made the decision to go get cotton candy."

Mia's rolling her eyes but she slings an arm around Lily's waist, leading her away. Bailey and Nathan follow along and Riley turns to Maya, tugging on her hand as she starts walking, "How's it going? Do you like it?"

It's mostly code for, 'are you okay?' and 'you can tell me if its a bit loud' because she knows her girlfriend doesn't like crowds all that much.

Maya presses herself to Riley's side, "It's great," she says, "I love it."

And Riley knows Maya well enough to be able to tell that she really is okay, for now, so instead of asking further she says, "I expect you to win me a really big stuffed toy, it's part of your girlfriend duties."

It's apparently the right decision because Maya quirks and eyebrow at her, "Is that so?"

"It was the small print, should've read it before you signed on."

Maya laughs and the sound of it swings on the afternoon breeze and Riley's really, really happy that they're here together.

 

**...**

 

The sun's just starting to set when they all make their way to the stage, Darcy manhandling them into a good spot so he can see everything clearly. Riley's holding a stuffed cat nearly as big as her head so she stands at the back, hoping she isn't blocking the view of anyone who might be behind them.

Maya's humming a tune as she claims the spot in front of Riley, unconsciously leaning back into her.

The stage is being set up for the first act and if she squints Riley can see at least one guitar so it's definitely a band. She leans forward so she doesn't have to shout into Maya's ear, "Isn't it weird how they all lose their accents when they sing?"

Maya shrugs and Riley can feel the movement just below her collarbones, "It's like, when you look at a painting by some artist you don't know, you can't really tell which country they're from," she says, and Riley smiles into her hair because only Maya would use an extended artistic metaphor to explain a situation.

Riley's just about to say exactly that when there's a muffled boom and one of the band members on stage is yelling into the mic so she saves it for another time.

London's home to quite a few talented singers so the show isn't all that bad, especially when someone sings an acoustic cover of that new Ed Sheeran song and Maya insists on slow dancing with Riley, passing the stuffed cat along to Darcy to hold while he jots down notes about pitch and strumming patterns.

Riley reckons the thing she's missed most about living a stone's throw away from Maya is this, just being with her, enjoying her presence, letting the warmth of existing in tandem with someone she loves with all her heart wash over her in a soothing wave.

It's nice.

Maya's arms are wrapped around her waist, and her face is pressed into Riley's neck and they're just swaying slowly, not even to the beat of the song, and Riley knows Maya's thinking the same thing.

 

**...**

 

The apartment is mostly dark when they get back, Topanga's left the kitchen light on so they don't stumble into four hundred different things and make enough noise to wake the entire neighborhood. It's not that late, just shy of half-past nine, but Riley's parents are the epitome of '9pm or 3am no in between' and she's kind of grateful they decided to be early sleepers tonight because Maya is half-asleep herself and Riley's practically carrying her to the bed.

The curtains in her room are flung wide open and the moon dusts the entire floor a bright silver. Riley gently guides Maya to the bed, pulling the covers over her before going to brush her teeth.

When she comes back Maya's dead to the world, her golden curls fanning across the pillow she's claimed and the moonlight makes her look almost crystalline, all angles and sharp edges, but when Riley slides into bed, she rolls over almost immediately, gently tucking herself under Riley's chin and folding herself into the space that was only ever meant for her anyway.

It sounds as if all of London has gone to bed, only the chirping of crickets interrupting the quiet night. Riley closes her eyes, letting Maya's soft, slow breathing lull her to sleep.

She dreams of cotton candy and slow dancing and a happiness that pools like liquid sunshine beneath her ribs, a steady thrum of warmth on her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said 3 chapters? I lied, expect at least 6, I planned a couple of dot points for chapter 3 and ended up only writing for two of them because I'm a rambling idiot and I have at least five more dot points and then a bunch more I haven't actually written down yet. I definitely have an ending in mind, it's flexible so I might end up changing it but I really like the idea of it and how it corresponds to the start, but if I think of something better I'll use that. Anyway, raise your expectations to at least 6 chapters, although that's not set in stone since I'm obviously not good at following plans. 
> 
> I was under the false impression that London and America operated on opposite school years, and a quick Google search informed me that I was wrong, case in point: [8:36:54 PM] dea: i drew out a whole timeline and then googled it anad i was like fu k
> 
> and then the conversation sort of derailed into [8:47:23 PM] dea: i love children that i don't have to interact with on a daily basis
> 
> Anyway! Hope you enjoyed this! Talk to me on [tumblr](taylorswift.co.vu) or like, ask me for other social media, thank you for reading!


	4. she says people stare (cause we look so good together)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally here guys! I'm sorry about the literal eon between this update and the last one, have an extra long chapter to make up for it. We're almost at the end, are you excited? I'm probably more excited than all of you put together it's weird, it's like I'm looking forward to something I'll have to write myself. There might be an epilogue after the sixth part, I'm not sure what's going on really, but we'll see.
> 
> Anyway, hope you guys enjoy this!

Riley wakes up slowly, squinting at the brightness of her room. It takes her a couple of seconds to remember why she left the curtains open, and then she's smiling. Maya's still asleep next to her, or rather, as close to her as physically possible, and she can tell from looking out her window that the weather today is going to be nice.

Riley carefully turns herself around, not wanting to wake Maya, and blinks at the numbers on her digital clock until they tell her it's about ten in the morning.

It's a Saturday, and she can hear her mother bustling around downstairs, the occasional loud thump telling her that her dad's awake as well. Riley stretches, and the movement jostles the pillows, which results in Maya blinking slowly before sitting up, the most adorable confused look on her face.

"Riles?"

Riley smiles at her from the bed, not bothering to get up, "Right here, peaches."

Maya grins, and in that moment she looks like an avenging angel, backlit in gold and fuzzy around the edges, her eyes a bright cornflower blue, sparkling with what Riley knows is reflected sunlight but chooses to believe is love. "Mornin'"

"Dad's probably making pancakes."

There's a thump and a muffled shout from the kitchen and Maya wordlessly raises a single eyebrow.

"Alright," Riley concedes with a huff, "Mom's probably taken over by now."

 

**...**

 

Cory's plating their food when they walk into the kitchen. He turns around and waves at them with the spatula. "Riley! Who's your friend?"

Topanga rolls her eyes from her seat at the table as Maya laughs, detaching herself from Riley's side and making her way toward a chair.

"Picked her up on the side of the road yesterday," Riley deadpans, taking the plate from him.

"Thanks for your hospitality," Maya chimes in, "and the pancakes."

Topanga effectively cuts off any hope of continuing the ruse by putting down the paper and turning to the both of them. "How was the Festival, girls?"

"S'great," Maya mumbles around the mouthful of pancake she's already taken.

"We had lots of fun," Riley adds, sliding into the chair next to Maya, "and Bailey's boyfriend is throwing a party tonight," she continues nonchalantly.

The look her mother gives her is indicative of the fact that she absolutely did not get away with the feigned innocence.

Cory slumps down opposite them and shoved a finger into Riley's face, "Listen-"

"Curfew is midnight," Topanga says, cutting him off as she opens her newspaper again, "and text us the address before you go."

"No boys-" Cory tries again, and this time he just cuts himself off, because Maya is laughing into her fist, doubled over with her forehead an inch off the table. He realizes his mistake a few seconds later and the he's spluttering in an attempt to be the stern parent, "or girls! No boys or girls or suspicious substances!"

"Dad, we'll be fine."

"Yeah Matthews, the only girl I'll be bringing home is your daughter."

Riley beams and Maya goes back to her pancakes while Topanga tries to mask a smile behind her newspaper.

"Good."

 

**...**

 

Maya flops back onto Riley's bed, throwing an arm over her eyes as Riley peers into her closet.

"Help me pick an outfit!"

"Riley, you could wear a garbage bag and I'd think you look cute."

"That's great, and I love you, but I actually need an outfit."

Maya groans good-naturedly before sitting up, gesturing for Riley to step aside so she can peer into the closet.

Riley thinks that it all seems very ironic but she chooses to refrain from making a comment.

Maya turns around, pulling a sundress from the closet. Riley recognizes it from a shopping trip during the winter; she hasn't had a chance to wear it yet.

"This," Maya says, presenting the sunshine yellow garment to her, "and your strappy sandals, and braid your hair up."

Riley takes the dress, letting it fall to her bed, "Okay. What are you gonna wear?"

Maya frowns, "I don't know, anything decent I can throw together."

Riley thinks it's decidedly unfair that Maya can literally wear whatever she wants and still look like she just walked out of a magazine photoshoot where they let her keep the clothes.

She flops down onto her bed next to the dress, watching as Maya steps around her room, inspecting all the little odds and ends she hasn't had the chance to take a detailed look at yet. "Party doesn't start until six, what do you wanna do until then?"

Maya turns to grin at her, "Not ten?"

It takes Riley a second, in which she wonders why Maya didn't answer her question, but then she's laughing, "Of course not," she says exaggeratedly.

Maya collapses into her spinny chair, resting her arms on the back of it, "Let's go take a walk," she says, turning to gaze out the window.

The sun is hanging low in the sky, but Riley can tell it's going to be a nice afternoon, just warm enough to feel comfortable, London doesn't get many of those days, it's illogical but she thinks Maya being here makes the weather better somehow.

"Okay," Riley says with a grin, "let's go take a walk."

 

**...**

 

There's a park near her apartment, Riley remembers when they first moved here and Auggie spent most of his days sitting on the bench next to the water fountain. She had confined herself to her room, the feeling of being in a new place without Maya so suffocating that she couldn't even step outside.

Her little brother had dealt with his feelings differently, choosing instead to pick one spot outside the apartment. She's never asked him why; Auggie will tell her when he's ready.

Now, Riley walks the streets of London holding Maya's hand, watching as her girlfriend — her _girlfriend_ — takes in the city that she now belongs to. She will always remember New York as the city of her childhood, and now London will be where she saw herself, really saw herself, well and truly for the first time, but the only home she's ever had is the girl walking next to her.

It's dangerous, putting so much into one person. Riley knows how much it'll hurt if they don't work out, knows first-hand from that month she spent away from Maya, knows that if anything happened to them it would break her.

But she also knows that it'll never happen, Maya is here to stay, for better or for worse, and maybe one day in the future they'll swear those vows in front of an audience, but right now Riley is content to believe in the promise of them, however fragile and easily brushed aside promises are, she knows this is one they both will keep.

She gets tugged to a stop when Maya stops walking, their hands still linked between them, and Riley turns in confusion, a bemused smile spreading across her face, "Yeah?"

Maya blinks at her, this soft look on her face that's accentuated by the thin rays of watery sunlight that's pouring down onto the pavement, and Riley swears she falls a little bit more in love. "Snack break?"

They've come to a stop by a little café that Riley's never seen before, despite having lived here for over a year. It's probably Maya's keen artistic eye that's spotted it, tucked into a little corner between two busy streets, Riley would never have noticed it on her own. She beams at Maya, moving forward to hold the door open for her, "After you."

 

**...**

 

Maya picks a table next to the window, and it's warm enough in here that the glass is fogged up. Riley can vaguely make out passing foot traffic and the faded headlights of cars heading by. She watched as Maya lifts a finger, drawing a faint heart and leaving a trail of condensation behind.

Riley realizes what she's doing before she does it and leans in herself, adding the little 'R + M' in before Maya can. They grin at each other for a moment, lost in the childishness of the gesture, how lovely it is to be able to say you've fallen in love with your best friend, the comfort of having someone who knows you, inside and out, probably better than you know yourself.

Riley never wants to let this feeling go.

"Hey, peaches."

Maya glances up from her mug as steam rising from it obscures the top half of her face so for a moment all Riley can see are bright blue eyes and a soft grin. "Yeah?"

And Riley knows what she's going to say, but she pauses anyway, because it's taken a long time for them to get here, to this place in their lives, and it feels even longer than it has been. They were just two girls who grew up, and then almost grew apart, Riley looks back and she can see, clear as day, the tiny moments that led them here, sitting in a tiny café with a plate of cookies and so much more between them.

She is simultaneously five and sixteen, existing in the liminal space of herself, and the only thing that's been constant is this, right here. Sitting with Maya and allowing herself to be honest, feeling the security of being in the presence of someone she knows will never, ever let her down.

Maya is looking at her expectingly, and Riley smiles, "I really love you," she says, meaning so much more than that, meaning things that she can't even put into words, that she will never be able to describe.

"I really love you, too," Maya says, and Riley sees that she understands what's been left unsaid. Maya understands, in this raw, genuine way, what Riley's trying to say, what she means with her random declarations of love. Maya understands, and she's saying it right back.

 

**...**

 

The party's just started when they arrive, slipping in through the unlocked door. Maya's in ripped jeans and an old hoodie of Riley's and she's never looked better, as can be seen from the multiple pairs of eyes that follow her across the room when they search around for their friends.

Riley pulls her a little closer and delights in the way Maya's grip tightens on her hand when she does so.

They find Bailey by the food, Darcy's standing next to him and holding what looks to be two slices of pizza at once, one in each hand.

"-going to finish it all, slow down."

"Excuse me," Darcy says pointedly, looking Bailey dead in the eye as he takes a gigantic bite out of the slice in his right hand.

Riley's laughing when she steps up to them, tugging Maya along because losing her girlfriend in the crowd is the last thing she wants to do.

"Riley! Good to see you, tell Darcy to stop eating."

Riley's about to respond when Maya cuts in, "Nonsense, let the boy eat what he wants."

Darcy shoots Maya a cheesy grin and two lopsided thumbs up, and Maya gives him fingerguns with her free hand. Riley's rolling her eyes at the both of them when Lily materializes behind her, immediately making it a point to talk louder than usual even though it's not entirely necessary.

"Hey guys! Great party, Nathan! Thanks for the invite! Have you see Mia?"

Riley's pretty sure the lot of them all simultaneously flinched in quick succession, following every exclamation point in Lily's speech. She shakes her head, "Sorry, we just got here," she says, and when everyone else expresses similar responses and Lily starts to look a tiny bit frantic, adds, "have you tried the kitchen?"

"No, but she-"

"I'm right here, stop looking so worried."

Riley looks up to see Mia trudging over from the stereo system, nonchalant expression on her face not giving away what she was doing that close to the speakers.

Lily turns to her, and Riley takes that as an opportunity to disengage from the group, deciding that she can catch up with her friends later.

Maya dutifully follows along, seemingly content to just float in Riley's wake tonight.

"C'mon, I wanna-"

"Survey the room, I know," Maya says with a tiny grin, straightening up and starting toward the door, "let's start from the beginning."

 

**...**

 

Riley doesn't realize she's lost Maya until she looks up and sees Bailey standing next to her instead, he's talking to Nathan, but she can tell he's keeping at least one eye on her at all times.

It's not saying much because he only has two eyes, but at least it's something. Maybe she's had one too many of these Long Island iced teas. They _do_ taste amazing, and Riley's always liked iced tea.

She decides to wait next to the nearly empty pizza pan, figuring that Maya will find her soon enough. Someone taps her on the shoulder and she turns around, expecting her girlfriend, but instead coming face to face with someone she vaguely recognizes from school.

Riley doesn't quite remember who he is but there's a vibe about him that she dislikes, even in her slightly tipsy state.

He grins widely at her, teeth unusually bright, and holds out a red cup. "Want a drink?

Riley shakes her head, remembering her father's words. So far, everything she's drank has come straight from her friends' hands, and she knows none of them mean her any harm. This guy, on the other hand, pings on every danger radar she possesses.

"I'm fine," she says, trying to look around him to find Maya.

"Come on, promise it'll make you forget all about your pretty little girlfriend," he says, shaking the cup invitingly in front of her.

The amber liquid inside sloshes around, and it doesn't look like anything that Nathan said would be at the drinks table.

Riley frowns, and she's just about to reply when she feels someone step up behind her. It's Maya, and closely behind her are Bailey and Nathan.

"Funny, I don't remember inviting you," Nathan says, moving forward so he's standing in directly in front of the new guy. Bailey steps up next to him, and Maya slides into the vacated spot next to Riley, slipping her hand into hers.

Riley grips on tightly, still a little unsure about what's happening. Maya's glowering, and both Nathan and Bailey look fiercer than she's ever seen them.

"Sod off, Dylan," Bailey says, arms crossed.

The guy- Dylan, puts his hands up in surrender, the red cup still held in his left one, "Hey man, chill out, they aren't really together anyway, two girls can't-"

Nathan cuts him off, taking one menacing step forward, "You would do well to remember who's party you're gatecrashing."

Dylan scowls, glaring at each of them in turn before stalking off into the crowd.

"I'll go make sure he leaves," Nathan says, and Riley sees Maya nod at him, sees Bailey follow his boyfriend to the door, and she only blinks out of her stupor when Maya tugs lightly on the hand she's still holding.

"You okay, honey?"

Riley nods, then shakes her head, then nods again, "Yes? Yes, I'm fine."

Maya frowns, reaching up with her free hand to smooth her thumb across Riley's cheek. "You sure?"

Riley nods, surer this time. "Yeah, I'm good."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here, I went to get a bottle of water and there weren't any in the kitchen so I had to ask Nathan if he had any and it all just spiraled into this huge mess and none of this matters." Maya holds up the bottle. "Ready to go? We have to leave now if you want to meet your curfew."

Riley grins crookedly, pulling Maya closer and resting their foreheads together. "You gonna bring me home?"

Maya kisses her once before pulling away, keeping her fingers tightly intertwined with Riley's. "You bet I am."

 

**...**

 

Riley wakes up to what feels like three simultaneous headaches. She groans once, rolling over and frowning when she realizes that there's no one there. The other side of her bed is empty, but there's a glass of water and two aspirin on her bedside table, evidence of Maya's presence.

She's just starting to sit up when her bedroom door squeaks open. Maya pokes her head in, smiling when she sees that Riley's awake.

"Hey there, how're you feeling?"

Riley abandons all efforts to sit up and flops back down onto her pillow. "Not good."

Maya laughs, and Riley can't help but notice that she looks achingly soft in the early afternoon sun. She's got Riley's old cheerleading jacket wrapped around her shoulders, the sleeves a little bit too long, and her hands tucked snugly into the pockets.

Maya stands haloed in a circle of sunlight, wisps of golden hair sticking out of her messy ponytail, smiling kindly at Riley even though she probably had to half-carry her home the previous night, and Riley feels her heart grow warm.

"You do know," Maya says as she steps forward, "that Long Island iced tea isn't actually just iced tea, right?"

Riley flings an arm across her eyes, smiling a little when she feels the bed dip with Maya's weight as her girlfriend sits down. " _Now_ I do."

When she opens her eyes again, Maya's sitting cross-legged on the other side of the bed, facing her with the glass of water in one hand and the aspirin in the other.

"Here, you'll feel better after this, and then I can make you some French toast."

Riley's up at the mention of French toast. She accepts the water and pills with a mumbled, "thanks, peaches," and swallows everything in three big gulps.

Maya carefully takes the glass from her and sets it back down on the bedside table before standing up and flapping the too-long-on-her sleeves of Riley's cheerleading jacket around. "Your parents are out, I'm not sure where they went but they said one of them will be back for dinner," she says, "also would you like honey or maple syrup with your French toast?"

"Maple syrup," Riley says, rubbing at her head.

"Don't forget to brush your teeth," Maya calls over her shoulder as she heads down the hall.

Riley blinks twice, wondering how she got so lucky.

 

**...**

 

Ten minutes later, she's sitting at the dining table and practically inhaling her breakfast.

Maya sets a cup of hot chocolate in front of her before sitting down with one of her own, wrapping her fingers around the steaming mug.

Riley stops for a moment, fork halfway to her mouth so she can grin sleepily at her girlfriend. "Thanks for taking care of me last night."

Maya cocks her head to the side, taking a moment to just look at Riley before a soft smile spreads across her face. "Of course," she says, before pausing for a moment, as if she's wondering whether she should say whatever's on her mind.

Riley waits it out, knowing Maya takes a while to weigh out her words.

"Do you remember much of last night?"

Riley frowns, swallowing her mouthful of French toast before replying. "I remember lots of iced tea? Annnnd, some guy named Dylan?"

It's been twelve years since they've met, twelve years Riley has known Maya, twelve years in which she has had the time to learn all of her girlfriend's little quirks. Riley can tell whenever Maya is trying to hold something back; she always tightens her hold on whatever she's holding and tries her hardest to avoid eye contact.

Riley thinks she's trying to keep herself grounded while she sifts through her thoughts, or maybe she just tenses whenever she has something important to say. Either way, Riley knows Maya will make the right decision, she'll say whatever it is on her mind if she thinks Riley needs to know.

"I left Bailey to keep an eye on you while I went to get a bottle of water because you kept drinking those Long Island iced teas, and when I got back there was this guy talking to you." Maya's still staring down at her hot chocolate, and Riley keeps her silence, poking at the last pieces of her French toast and trying to get all the maple syrup off her plate.

"I don't know what he said but you looked uncomfortable so I went over, and the boys followed me and we sent him off but-" Maya cuts herself off, and she finally looks up. Riley startles a little at the look in her eyes, a little defeated, and just very sad. "He said something about us not 'really being together' because, you know."

Riley looks at her, really looks at her, sees Maya hunched over on herself over the wooden kitchen table, gripping her mug so tightly her knuckles are turning white, and feels a sudden burst of anger.

"Maya Penelope Hart, don't you dare."

Maya looks up, surprise swimming in her blue eyes. "What?"

"I spent a year of my life hating myself for loving you, I'm done with that. _We're_ done with that. I don't care what other people think, I'm proud to be your girlfriend, and you make me really happy, so don't you dare blame yourself for any of that. It's not your fault."

Maya blinks at her, and Riley remembers that she's not the only one who had to go through all that. She's not the only one who had to simmer in her own thoughts, turning her feelings over in her head for hours, losing sleep over the fact that she's fallen for her best friend.

Riley remembers that Maya went through it all so much younger than she had, and probably for a longer time as well. They've spoken about this but not at length, not in detail, and there's so much that's been left unsaid. She knows they'll talk about it one day, when it's long past them, less painful and more bittersweet than anything.

For Riley, it was a long, drawn out process of figuring herself out, and then a year spent trying to push her feelings down, and a final, crystal clear moment in time when she finally accepted herself.

If she knows Maya at all, Riley's pretty sure that she figured herself out right quick, but took way longer to get to a point where she came to terms with her feelings. Riley's always been more hands on with her emotions, and if she tried so hard to push them down, she can't imagine what Maya did with hers.

Riley knows Maya's not ashamed to be dating her, but she also knows that between the two of them, Maya's the one who's more likely to be concerned with what other people think of them.

Riley's more self-conscious when it comes to _her_ , individually, but she's never really doubted her relationship with Maya, not when it was just friendship, and certainly not when it evolved into something more.

As much as she worries about what other people think of her, she's never spent too much time fretting over her and Maya together.

But Maya does, and Riley's never going to let her feel like she's the reason other people might side-eye them from across the street sometimes. It's not her, and never will be, and Riley wills Maya to see that, reaching over to gently coax her fingers from the mug and sliding their hands together.

"I love you, and it's not your fault. We're perfect, and you make me _so_ happy, and that's all that matters."

Maya glances down at their hands for a moment before looking back up at Riley. "Okay," she says, smiling ever so slightly, and Riley thinks she looks beautiful, wearing a jacket that's too big, her hair a golden mess, "that's all that matters."

 

**...**

 

Darcy texts her the day before Maya's due to go back to New York, and Riley abandons all pretense of actually packing to pick up her phone from where it's thrown somewhere on her bed.

Maya looks over in interest, head popping up from the other side of the bed like the prettiest whack-a-mole alive.

"What's up?"

"Darcy's inviting us over to play video games," Riley says, getting up and flopping down onto her bed so that she's just above eye-level with Maya, who's still sitting on the floor. "Wanna go?"

Maya gets up and dusts herself off, stretching onto the tips of her toes. "What do you think?"

Riley rolls her eyes, but the action is softened with a smile. "I'll tell him ten minutes."

Maya looks down at her current outfit, which consists of an old paint-splattered t-shirt and one of Riley's sweatpants. "Fifteen?"

"You look perfect."

Maya whips her shirt off and tosses it right at Riley's head. "Says you."

 

**...**

 

The thing is, Riley doesn't know what she expected, but she certainly should've known this would happen.

Maya's hunched over the Wii remote on the floor, eyes glued to the top left side of the screen, where her chosen character, King Boo, is racing into first place.

She lets out a yell of triumph while Darcy groans as his Yoshi is delegated to second place.

Behind them, sitting down on the couch, Mia and Nathan are cruising along happily in third and fourth place respectively. Riley can tell they've both unanimously and silently agreed to just leave Maya and Darcy to their race.

Riley's sitting on one of the beanbags in Darcy's basement, sipping on iced tea that's actually iced tea and trying to hide a smile as Maya leans her entire body to the left in order to make a turn.

"Banana!"

"No! Don't!"

"Ahh! Fuck you, cow!"

"This is a stupid map."

The shouts that are coming from in front of the TV are making less and less sense to Riley as time passes. She's not sure if she's supposed to intervene or not.

A few seconds later Maya shoots up and pumps her fists to the ceiling, Wii remote still clutched in her left one. "Yes! Suck it! I am the true Mario Kart champion!"

Darcy's lying face down on the floor, and Riley thinks maybe she should leave him to mourn for a bit. She gets up and pulls Maya down to take a seat in an attempt to calm her euphoria. "Come on peaches, I'm proud of you but the neighbors are going to think we're all super weird."

Maya frowns, but she sits dutifully. "We're underground."

The door to the basement opens before Riley can reply and Lily troops down, not even pausing to question why Mia and Nathan are staring at Darcy as he groans on the floor. "Pizza will be here in ten, I'll leave the door open so we can hear the bell when it rings."

Riley smiles at her because it doesn't seem like anyone else is going to respond, especially when Maya gets up and stalks over to Darcy, reaching down to haul him up.

"Ten minutes before food. Rematch? Winner takes all."

Darcy sits up instantly. "You're on."

Riley sighs at the both of them as they start another race, picking up her iced tea again and shifting over so Lily can join her on the beanbag.

"Garlic bread?"

"Who do you think I am? I got three."

 

**...**

 

Being at the airport to send Maya back to New York feels like a strange parallel. Riley knows it's not the same as when she left for London, but leaving Maya is never easy.

Airports always feel weird. A strange space between final destinations that no one really wants to stay in for too long. Everything feels a little less than reality, a dream-like state in which she's floating around, unsure of her bearings. There's the hustle and bustle of other people, and the little ding that plays whenever an announcement is made, and it feels like she's hearing everything from underwater.

The only reason Riley doesn't feel completely out of it is because Maya's gripping onto her hand as they walk down the hall to the departure gate. They come to a stop and Maya lets go of her luggage to spin around and grab Riley's other hand as well.

"Hey, you okay?"

It takes a moment, but something settles within her when she hears Maya's voice. Riley blinks a couple of times as everything zooms back in, as if she just snapped back into this existence from somewhere else.

"Hmm? Yeah, I am. I just- I don't want to say goodbye, y'know?"

Maya smiles sadly and Riley feels her heart clench because this isn't something she can fix. This isn't something that she can make better. Maya has to go back to New York and Riley has to stay in London and no amount of loving each other will change that.

"I don't want to say goodbye either, Riles," Maya says, "but it's not really goodbye, it's see you later, because I'm never letting you go." She grins suddenly, and her entire face lights up. "I'm never letting you go."

And damn it if that doesn't make Riley smile too. She steps forward and envelops Maya in a hug, breathing her in, trying to cement this moment in her memory so she'll never forget how it feels to hold the love of your life in your arms and know, in your heart, that this is the happily ever after that most people only get to read about.

Riley never wants to forget that she's one of the lucky ones. She's fallen in love with her best friend, the girl she grew up with, the girl she'll continue to grow up with, and Maya loves her right back. They've gone through too much to let a little distance break them apart.

This isn't goodbye, it's just see you later.

"I love you, peaches."

"See you later, honey."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, you can find me on [tumblr](taylorswift.co.vu) and/or my [sideblog](hartthews.co.vu). 
> 
> Special thanks to my beta Katie, who always weeds out all my shitty punctuation mistakes and is a great friend overall.
> 
> Until next time, toodles!


	5. she keeps me warm (pt. 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These next two chapters are brought to you by Katie and Swift aka my betas who I put through hell every time I finish writing something and need a proofreader. This fic would not be here without them.

Everyone's cheering, and it all feels a little surreal, as if someone else is walking across the stage, and someone else is receiving the certificate, and someone else is joining the rest of the senior class for pictures.

Riley can't believe she's graduated, but she's got the little piece of paper and the pretty square hat to prove it.

Her dad is yelling from somewhere behind her, waving a camera around wildly. Riley decides to walk over to him, because if nothing else she's saving someone from being thwacked in the head with either a fist or a fist holding a camera.

"Dad, please."

"Don't you 'Dad, please' me, you graduated! My little girl! All grown up!"

" _Dad._ "

"Alright, alright, just go stand under that tree I want a few pictures."

Riley obliges, knowing that a few really means a few dozen. She stands under the big apple tree, holding her diploma, and nothing feels real, not yet. It doesn't feel like she's graduated, doesn't feel like high school is now behind her and her entire life is ahead.

The first wisps of summer have arrived on the breeze, and Riley is teetering at the edge of her childhood, uncertainty lining the path that leads to whatever comes next. She remembers feeling like this when middle school ended and high school began, when it seemed as if she had the world at her fingertips but didn't know what to do with it.

It's different this time. There's something melancholy about it, a stillness that's settled around her, as if she's existing in a pocket of stopped time. Riley doesn't like stagnancy, but she's never welcomed change, either. There's a very delicate balance between finding out who you are and not forgetting who you were.

She feels strangely light, as if her entire being is floating away. The ringing of her phone snaps her back to reality and she shrugs apologetically at her dad before fishing it out of her pocket.

"Hello?"

"Hey! Riles! How's it feel to be _old_?"

Riley's grinning before her brain ever registers that it's Maya on the other side of the line. "Peaches! Your birthday's before mine, you're the old one."

"Nevermind that, how does graduating feel like? Does it feel good? I still can't believe I made it."

"Maya, you were always going to make it. You're meant for great things."

There's a pause, then-

"Hope isn't for suckers after all."

"We did it, Maya, we graduated, you and me." And, standing there with her phone pressed to her ear and the biggest grin on her face, Maya's happy laughter ringing in her ears, Riley finally starts to believe it.

 

**...**

 

Summer arrives in a warm haze and Riley goes home to New York, home to Maya.

They hug in the middle of the arrival hall and Riley knows they look like the front of a Hallmark card but it doesn't matter because Maya is in her arms and she's finally home.

"Missed you," she says, meaning _'I hate being away from you'_.

"Missed you too," Maya says, meaning _'I know, me too'_.

Riley steps out of the airport and breathes in the city of her childhood, wondering if staying here would have changed her somehow. She doesn't know that, never will now, but New York saw her grow up and she cannot rewrite her history.

She found Maya in this city, and that's not something she ever wants to forget.

"You ready?" Maya asks, as they step out into the dry air, her grip tightening on Riley's hand, smiling the way she does when she's truly happy.

"Always," Riley says, grinning back, equally as bright. "I've got you."

 

**...**

 

Katy hugs her tightly, and Riley marvels at the way her childhood has chased her across the ocean and back again. She is freshly eighteen but standing here, on the threshold of the house Maya grew up in, she feels so incredibly young.

"Oh, look at you! All grown up!"

Maya shuffles past, dragging Riley's carry-on behind her, "Mom, don't smother her."

"Maya, your girl's all grown up!"

Maya's cheeks pink and Riley grins, basking in the attention. "I've grown an inch and a half," she announces proudly.

"Well I've grown two and you're _still_ taller!" Maya huffs, arms crossed, an indignant frown on her face.

Riley stumbles forward to stand behind Maya, resting her arms around her girlfriend's shoulders. "I think we're perfect for each other," she says.

Katy smiles, and in that moment Riley knows that her childhood will follow her forever, across oceans and countries and timezones, and no matter how old she grows, she will always carry a piece of it with her.

 

**...**

 

The moment Maya starts the engine, Riley whips out a disc titled 'OUR FUTURE FT. THE LOVE OF MY LIFE' and slides it into the slot in the middle of the dashboard.

"You love it," she says in response to the look Maya tosses at her when she catches a glimpse of the case, title scrawled across in black Sharpie.

"I love _you_ ," Maya says in lieu of a proper reply, and Riley doesn't stop the smile from spreading across her face.

"I know."

They cruise for a couple hours, singing along to the songs on Riley's playlist, before Maya makes the executive decision to stop for lunch.

"I know you're hungry," she says, before Riley can protest. "I'll buy you pancakes."

"It's two in the afternoon," Riley says as she shuts the passenger side door.

"I don't hear you complaining," Maya tosses over her shoulder, locking the car with a quiet 'beep beep' before grabbing Riley's hand and pulling her toward the diner

They serve all-day-breakfast, because of course they do, and Maya doesn't bother keeping the smile off her face as she orders half a dozen pancakes and a milkshake to share.

"So," Maya says, fork dangling from her fingers and through a mouthful of pancake, "what're your plans?"

Riley feigns innocence, grabbing the bottle of maple syrup and pouring it liberally over her half of the plate. "Plans? What plans?"

"I'm not believing for one second that you don't have the whole trip planned out, so, come on, what's our first stop?"

Riley holds out for two more seconds before giving in, "I thought we could stop in Indiana and walk around the racetrack, it's open to the public when there's no races on."

Maya, who's currently taking a sip of the milkshake, hums around the straw before putting the glass down. "Sounds fun, can we get churros while we're there?"

"Um? Yeah, sure."

"Perfect."

 

**...**

 

The racetrack is a lot bigger in real life than it is in pictures. Riley's taken about a dozen photos before they've even set foot on the asphalt.

Maya, holding a paper bag of churros, is staring at the opposite end of the stadium with a familiar glint in her eye.

"Wanna sketch it?"

"Hmm, what?"

Riley reaches into her bag and produces a notebook and a pencil. "I've got your stuff."

Maya looks at her, and Riley knows what she can't find the words to say, they've always been able to read each other, ever since they were kids.

"Here," Riley says, taking the churros and passing Maya the notebook and pencil, "we can sit in the stands."

The sun climbs steadily in the sky, and Riley settles down comfortably, chewing on the churros, occasionally tilting the bag to the left so Maya can lean over to take a bite.

It's nice out here, the air is warm and there's the muffled hum of voices as a tour shuffles past them. Maya's relaxed and happy and muttering something under her breath that Riley can't quite make out but thinks is adorable all the same.

They hang out in the shade of the stands for a while, Maya busy sketching and Riley people-watching, and it's close to one in the afternoon when Maya finally looks up, letting the pencil drop to her lap and stretching her arms out, knuckles cracking.

Riley winces. "I still don't believe that doesn't hurt."

Maya grins at her, slumping back in her seat. "It's really relaxing," she says, shaking her hands in front of her.

Riley shudders once before leaning over to look at the notebook. "Let me see."

Maya holds it up with a proud grin. She's sketched the stadium from a bird's eye view, and Riley is once again struck by the fact that her girlfriend is an artistic genius.

"Hey! Is that us?"

On the eastern side of the stadium, Maya's drawn two figures sitting in the stands, one of them holding what looks suspiciously like a paper bag that's full of churros.

"I figured it'd be a nice touch."

"I love it," Riley says, and Maya beams at her in a way that makes her feel like she's swallowed sunshine. "Come on, the parking meter's about to run out. Let's go before we get a ticket."

 

**...**

 

"Where to next?" Maya asks, hopping forward and spinning around so she's walking backwards, one hand in the pocket of her jacket.

They're strolling down one of Indiana's streets, stretching their legs before having to pile back into the car for another couple hours.

Riley smiles at her, reaching forward to link arms and swing Maya around so they’re both walking properly again. “Cleveland! It’s not that far away so we can hang around for a while more and make it before dark.”

“Can we get more churros?”

“We just had churros!”

“Yeah, but you ate them all while I was busy sketching.”

Riley laughs, pulling Maya closer so they’re sort of squished together. “Yes, we can get more churros.”

“I’m getting some for the road too,” Maya declares, digging into her jeans for loose change.

“We’re going to run out of money before we even make it to LA.”

“Probably, but at least we spent it on churros,” Maya says, finding a couple of crumpled notes and waving them triumphantly in the air.

Riley rolls her eyes, but obediently stops at the next churros vendor they see so Maya can get more, waiting patiently by the side and leaning over to steal a bite once her girlfriend walks over.

“Hey!”

“Sharing is caring, peaches.”

“You’re lucky I love you,” Maya grumbles, trying and failing to hide her smile as Riley links their arms again.

“I know.”

 

**...**

 

“Well, at least I can cross ‘almost getting arrested in Cleveland’ off my bucket list,” Maya says, ten minutes into the journey.

“I hope you know I wouldn’t have bailed you out.”

“Uh- yes you would? Girlfriend duties extend to bailing me out of jail.”

“I’d tell Mom not to be your lawyer.”

Maya gasps exaggeratedly, bringing a hand up to her chest, and Riley glances over at her with a grin. Sun is pouring in from the windscreen, teasing Maya’s hair into a molten gold, and Riley watches as she slides on a pair of sunglasses, effortlessly bumping her style meter up another dozen.

It’s, quite honestly, a little unfair, and if Riley’s fingers tighten just a little at ten and two on the wheel when Maya turns to smile at her then, well, no one can blame her.

“Still can’t believe they thought I was stealing from you.”

Riley laughs, “I can’t believe you thought sneaking up behind me and reaching into my bag was a good idea, you could’ve just asked!”

“Yeah, but then you’d have to stop and dig around for it and we’d be in the middle of the hallway and probably blocking an exhibit and it was just easier to search for it myself.”

“For the record, next time you want to borrow my phone, maybe try not to look like you’re stealing it.”

Maya leans back in the passenger seat, stretching out her arms to wrap around the headrest. Riley studiously keeps her eyes on the road in an attempt not to swerve into any of the cars around her.

“I don’t know, I’d say I’m pretty good at stealing things.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, stole your heart didn’t I?”

Riley bursts out laughing, chancing a glance at Maya, who looks both delighted and extremely pleased with herself at the same time.

“I guess you did.”

 

**...**

 

Maya’s squinting up at Cloud Gate, holding her hand up to shield her eyes from the sun. “Riley, why is there a giant bean in the middle of the park.”

“It’s not a bean-“

“Honey, that’s the beanest bean that I’ve ever seen.”

“It’s called Cloud Gate, it’s a sculpture! Art! You love art!”

“Mr Sandman, bring me a bean.”

“Alright, come on, I’m not leaving until we have a hundred pictures.”

Riley reaches out to link their arms, dragging Maya, who’s still mumbling lyrics from ‘Mr Sandman’, closer to the structure.

“Riles, the more I look at it the more I think it’s a bean.”

“Well, let’s take pictures with the bean,” Riley says, digging out the selfie stick they bought in Cleveland, cheerily attaching her phone to the end. “Mom wants scrapbook material.”

That is to say, Topanga requested a couple photos from each city they visited on their trip across the country for the photo album, it’s Riley who wants to document every second of this journey.

It still feels unreal, in a way, after three years of trying (and failing) to get used to having Maya on the other side of the world, to now be spending every waking second with her. It feels unreal in the most wonderful of ways, because Riley will wake up in the morning and be reminded all over again that she’s spending the whole of summer with her girlfriend.

It’s so unbelievably lucky that they both got into the colleges of their choice, that soon all Riley has to do to see Maya is find a car and drive for half an hour. It feels like nothing compared to the three thousand four hundred and fifty nine miles between London and New York, they’ll be able to visit each other during weekends and go home together for the holidays.

It really feels like all her dreams are coming true.

“Riles, I love you but please take the picture.”

Maya’s got an amused look on her face, one hand on her hip, the other reaching for the selfie stick. Riley yanks it away, trying to find the right angle. “I’ve got longer arms.”

“I will switch poses no more than four times.”

“I’ll take it.”

 

**...**

 

They’re stuck in traffic whilst trying to get onto the interstate, and Riley can tell Maya is getting impatient. She’s tapping her fingers on the wheel, out of sync with the song that’s currently playing, and if her jaw gets any tighter there will be some very bad repercussions.

“Peaches.”

A beat of silence, then-

“Yeah?”

Riley reaches over, catching one of Maya’s hands as they both dance around the wheel. “Breathe, we still have plenty of time.”

Traffic around them has come to a standstill and, behind them, Riley can hear the honking of angry drivers. Maya fidgets a little more before falling back against her seat, shoulders relaxing. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Riley says, leaning over to kiss her lightly on the cheek.

Maya exhales, interlocking their fingers.

They make it onto the interstate no worse for wear, and Maya’s smiling as Riley sings loudly along to the song currently playing, so she’s considering it a victory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, I got carried away and accidentally wrote two chapters at once and an ending that I'm very, very satisfied with, which means it'll be uploaded in two parts. I hope you enjoyed the first bit as much as I enjoyed writing it! Part two will be up tomorrow, and as always, you can find me on my [Tumblr](taylorswift.co.vu) if you want to chat!


	6. she keeps me warm (pt. 2)

“Riley, that is an alien spaceship.”

Looming ahead of them is the St. Louis arch or, as Maya more aptly put it, an alien spaceship. Riley laughs, tightening her grip on Maya’s hand and pulling her forward, “I can confirm that it isn’t.”

“Sure looks like one to me,” Maya says, reaching up with her other hand and removing her lollipop from her mouth before squinting up at the monument. “Where did the aliens go?”

“They’re probably taking a nap,” Riley says, inching forward, “come on, I don’t wanna miss the timeslot for our tickets.”

“Wait, tickets for what?”

“To go up the elevator! We’ll be on top of the world!”

There’s a pause, and Riley takes advantage of that to drag them forward and join the line of people waiting to enter the building.

The silence is broken when Maya pulls on her arm, eyes wide. “Does this mean we’re the aliens?”

Riley blinks, incredulous grin spreading across her face. “Oh, my god.”

“I’ve always wanted to be an alien,” Maya continues, “like, an Earth alien. Is that an oxymoron?”

“I wouldn’t know, peaches.”

“Riles, do you think the aliens could stop global warming?”

“I love you.”

 

**...**

 

For all her questions about potential aliens, Maya is definitely taken in by the view from the top. Riley produces the same notebook and pencil, passing it over to her girlfriend with a small smile. Maya accepts it, tiptoeing to kiss her once, quickly, before sitting down in the corner and starting to sketch.

Riley sets up camp next to her, reading through the brochures and occasionally looking up to check that Maya’s still going okay. People stroll pass them, and the white noise of conversation melts into the background as Riley settles back against the wall, munching on some snacks that she’s brought along.

Maya looks up after a while, the pencil now behind her ear and her hands all smudged with lead, “I am going to miss you when summer is over,” she says without preamble.

Riley sets down the brochure she’s currently perusing, letting out a sigh. “I’m going to miss you too, peaches, but we’ll be able to see each other a lot more often!” She reaches over and picks up the notebook, marvelling at the sketch that Maya’s manage to create. “And you’ll do amazing in art school, I know you will.”

The thing is, Riley has dreams for the both of them. Not big dreams, even though she’d entertained them when she was younger, just simple ones. Like a nice apartment with lots of sunshine, maybe a cat, and someday, perhaps, the pitter-patter of tiny feet on wooden floors. Maya will have a cozy art studio and Riley will constantly remind her not to track paint everywhere and they’ll probably have to survive on takeout on days when they both of them are working, but it will be a life that they’ve carved out for themselves, and Riley cannot ask for anything more.

It’s the future, _their_ future, and it feels like everything starts here, in the middle of their last summer before college, their last summer as kids. So when Riley says she knows Maya will do well in art school, it’s because she knows that, come hell or high water, they _will_ build a life that they’re proud of, together.

“Oh, hey, says here we’re in the Jefferson Memorial, or something.”

Riley’s shaken out of her thoughts by Maya’s voice. “What? Oh, yeah! They built this whole park for him, actually.”

“I remember that lesson,” Maya says, quietly, lead-stained thumbs running over the smooth paper of the brochure.

Riley remembers, too. The ice cream, the crying, the fallout. Riley remembers lashing out because, back then, it had been the only thing she knew how to do. Riley remembers being angry, and sad, and confused, and then how much it hurt afterward, realizing that she’d taken everything out on Maya.

 _Her_ Maya, the girl who’d always had her back, who stuck by her through thick and thin and everything in between.

She remembers being afraid that she’d done it that time, that she’d finally driven Maya away, that her best friend would decide she’s had it and didn’t need to deal with Riley and her weird emotions.

She remembers, too, Maya’s face when she’d finally come clean. The hurt, the _anguish_ evident in her emotions, the fact that her first priority was that Riley needed to be okay. This girl who’d been quietly shouldering Riley’s hurt and pain along with her own, all this time.

It had been as heartbreaking as it was liberating, to know that someone would be there for you no matter what, even if you’ve been horrible to them.

They’d both emerged from that better people, and loved each other more because of it.

Riley thinks all this, turns to look at Maya, still thumbing the brochure, and says, “I remember, too.”

Because that’s all she needs to say, because when Maya smiles at her, soft and a little sad around the edges, Riley know she’s understood.

Later, they get ice cream from a little shop on a street corner and Riley almost trips into hers, too excited to watch where she’s going. Maya catches her, an amused grin playing on her face, “Looks like you don’t need me to shove ice cream in your face anymore, huh?”

Riley straightens herself, checking to make sure her shoelaces are still tied. “Don’t be ridiculous, of course I need you,” she says, pretending not to notice when Maya blushes to the tips of her ears.

It’s a good day.

 

**...**

 

“I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore,” Maya says, the moment they cross the border.

Riley cuts herself off halfway through the chorus she’s currently singing to laugh, “I know you’re joking, but you’re technically right.”

Maya sits up. “Wait, what? I am?”

“Kansas and Kansas City are not the same place.”

“Why does America have to be like this?”

“We learnt this in Geography, peaches.”

“I love how you’re assuming I paid attention in geography class, also you didn’t answer my question about America.”

“I don’t know, Maya, why is it Kansas but Arkansas?”

There’s fumbling, and then a loud thump that causes Riley to look over in alarm. Maya’s rooting around her feet for her sunglasses, the most bewildered look on her face. “It’s _Arkansas_? I- no, I refuse to accept that. We never speak of this again.”

“Will it make you feel better if I say we’re going to an art museum?”

Maya looks over, sunglasses halfway to her face, “I knew agreeing to date you was a smart move.”

“You love me.”

“Yeah, I do.”

 

**...**

 

Riley’s never actually been to an art museum with Maya before, but now that she has, she’s definitely making sure she brings her girlfriend to every single art museum in the country.

Maya’s gliding around the sleek hallways, leaning in to read the little descriptions next to each art piece and occasionally making a comment that Riley completely misses because she’s too busy staring at the way Maya’s eyes light up when she sees something that she particularly likes. Riley’s a total goner for this girl and she knows it.

There’s a low hum of voices as they move through the museum, nothing too loud, but a murmur that persists. Riley keeps an eye on Maya anyway, because she knows her girlfriend doesn’t like crowds, or too many people talking at once.

“Honey?”

“Right here, peaches,” Riley says, stepping forward and taking Maya’s hand. “I’m right here.”

They proceed through the rest of the halls, and Riley doesn’t let go as Maya inspects the various artworks that the museum has on display. When they emerge into the sunlight afterwards, it’s late afternoon, and the trees are casting long shadows on the ground. The large shuttlecock standing on the front lawn looms ahead of them, and Riley swings their joined hands upwards in a stretch.

“Wanna go find some lemonade?”

Maya, who had been pulled up onto her tiptoes, settles back down, tugging playfully at Riley’s arm in a show of fake protest before setting off toward the carpark. “Sounds perfect.”

 

**...**

 

“Omaha sounds like such a fake state, like, it sounds like someone just hit a button on a random name generator and that’s how they decided it would be Omaha.”

“Maya-“

“No, listen, I know we just ate a bunch of their food and went to their zoo but honestly, just think about it. Omaha. Omaha. It just doesn’t sound real.”

“I’m sure there’s a long, important history behind the name Omaha-“

“Yes, and I respect that, I respect Omaha’s long and important history, but honestly! _Omaha_!”

Riley’s silently glad when they cross the border into South Dakota because she doesn’t know if any ancient Omaha gods are listening and waiting to curse them off the road.

 

**...**

 

“Tell me again who thought this was a good idea?”

Riley clears her throat and lifts the pamphlet. “Historian Doane Robinson conceived the idea for Mount Rushmore in 1923 to promote tourism in South Dakota, she persuaded sculptor Gutzon Borglum to travel to this region to ensure the carving could be accomplished.”

“Wait, so someone just decided to do it? Like, it wasn’t some government thing?”

“Um,” Riley skim reads the rest of the page, “it started out like that, but then the government recognised it as a National Historic Place.”

“So, basically, what you’re telling me is someone’s side project is now some national monument?”

“Yep!”

“Wasn’t there something similar in Naruto-“

“Would you look at that? The tour’s starting. Come on, peaches, I don’t want to miss it.”

They get some time at the top to wander around and read the signs, and Maya lingers at the edge of the railing, staring out at the mountainside. Riley hovers a couple feet away, watching quietly. It’s just about exactly noon, and the summer sun pours golden rays down onto the stone. It reminds Riley of another day, another time, another instance where they both lingered in sunlight, letting the heat wash away doubts and insecurities.

_“You know what happens at 5:30? You turn gold.”_

Riley wonders how many days it took Maya to realize that, how many late afternoons of sitting in the bay window, how many times Maya had to have been looking at her, even though now she knows Maya is, somehow, always looking at her.

She knows Maya loved her first, or at the very least, Maya realized it first. They could’ve both fallen at the same time, Riley doesn’t know, but the fact remains, Maya loved her first, loved her longer, loved her when Riley was still unaware that the warmth in her heart when she looked at her best friend meant so much more than she thought it did.

 _“You turn gold.”_ Maya had said, and Riley knows she would’ve smiled, knows they would’ve hugged, knows that it must have hurt Maya so much to say that when Riley herself didn’t know what it meant. How much it meant.

She knows now.

So when she finally walks over, slinging an arm around Maya’s shoulders and leaning down to kiss her on the cheek, Riley says, “You’re gold, too.”

And when Maya turns to her with a smile that reaches the very edges of her eyes, Riley knows she understands.

 

**...**

 

“Did you know octopus have three hearts? ‘Cause I sure as heck didn’t. Also, is the plural form of octopus just octopus or is it octopi? Is it like sheep and sheep or fish and fishes?”

Riley smiles amusedly as Maya talks, mostly at the sign she’s currently reading, but turning to Riley at the end with a confused look on her face.

“Inquiring minds would like to know.”

“I think both work?” To be honest, Riley isn’t quite sure, she hardly thinks she’s ever going to need to know the plural form of octopus. Maya, of course, doesn’t let something drop the moment she focuses on it.

Riley manages to distract her from the impromptu English lesson by pulling her phone out and tugging Maya into pictures with her, insisting they get one at every tank that allows photography. Maya follows along willingly, smiles when Riley asks her to, and even takes the picture when she’s standing in the better spot.

They find a display of a live-sized whale and Riley wastes no time in inducting someone from the crowd to take a picture of them. Maya gets up on her tiptoes, using her elbows to balance herself on Riley’s shoulders. The kind stranger motions for them to shuffle to the left and proceeds to take about half a dozen pictures.

They’re all keepers, in Riley’s opinion, especially the one where they’re both looking at each other like there’s nowhere else they’d rather be.

 

**...**

 

The morning is just about to roll over into afternoon when Maya cuts the engine. Riley glances around, confused because this isn’t a stop that’s in the plan.

“What’s here?”

Maya glances over at her with a grin. “Something cool, come on, you’ll love it.”

Riley frowns, confused, but obediently follows Maya to the little fenced out square in the middle of the desert. “There sure are a lot of flags here,” she says, looking up and around.

“There sure are,” Maya says, a little cryptically, tugging Riley along because she’s stopped to look around. “Come on, you gotta see something.”

They wander over to a little dark grey circle on the ground and Maya positions Riley right in the middle, still grinning as she steps back and snaps a quick picture. “That’s one for the books,” she says quietly, before straightening up and tucking her phone away.

“Gonna need some explaining here, peaches.”

“Well, Riles, that one spot there is where four different states meet up.” Maya walks around her, pointing at the different slabs of concrete in the ground. “That’s Arizona, Colorado, Utah and New Mexico. It’s like you’re in four different states at once!”

Riley blinks, looking down at her sneaker-clad feet. “What? No. What? Really? No! Really?”

Maya laughs, hands on her hips and an amused smile playing on her face. “It’s true,” she says, gesturing to the ground. “I can now officially commit a crime in four states at once, I wonder how they’ll charge it.”

“Peaches!”

“Sorry,” Maya says, not looking, or sounding, very sorry at all. Riley reaches out to pull her in, stepping out of the circle and tugging so that Maya’s paint-splattered sneakers replace hers.

“I love you,” she says quickly, before Maya can move out of the way. “There! Now I’ve said I love you in four states at once.”

“You’re not standing in the circle, so technically I’m the only one in- hey!”

Riley’s managed to squish herself in next to Maya so they’re both perched on the little circle, pressed together and trying not to fall. “I love you!”

“I love you, too,” Maya says, voice muffled, the brightness of her eyes betraying her grumbly tone.

The playlist shuffles back to the first song when they get back into the car, and Riley marvels at how it still feels like they’ve just begun their journey, when she knows they’re almost at its end. She settles back in her seat, humming absentmindedly along, and wonders if summer for her will always be bittersweet.

 

**...**

 

“I am going to go blind.”

“Pull over and I’ll drive.”

“Nope, _you’re_ going to try and convince me that we should stop at some weird fortune telling gimmick on the side of the road and I won’t be able to stop you because you’re driving.”

Riley gasps, affronted. “I absolutely will not!”

“If you say so,” Maya sing-songs, making a right turn when the GPS says, “but I’m not switching.”

“Well then,” Riley says grumpily, “don’t complain about the lights.”

“It’s Las Vegas, honey, everyone complains about the lights. They built this entire city on a desert, people complain about everything.”

“What?”

“Oh, I thought you knew about the desert thing.”

“It’s a city! With lights!”

“I wonder how much money you need to have to just walk into the middle of the desert and decide to build an entire civilization.”

 

**...**

 

Riley takes her time getting out of the car, sitting sideways in the passenger seat and stretching her legs out before finally standing up. Maya’s beside the driver’s side door, the top half of her head just visible over the top of the car. She’s looking out at the campus, a wistful expression on her face.

“I’m going to miss you,” Riley says, meaning every word.

Maya turns to her, wearing a sad little grin that just about breaks Riley’s heart. “Come on, you dork, let me help you move in.”

They only really need one trip, for Riley’s clothes and other essentials. The dorms are mostly furnished, and anything else she needs she can get from the local shops. Riley flops down onto her bed while Maya’s down the hall in the community kitchen, probably making some microwave popcorn.

She knows they’ve been incredibly lucky, that the both of them got into the colleges that they wanted, and the fact that they’re just a short drive away from each other is just icing on the cake. There had been no doubt, of course, that Riley would come back to America for college. She’d looked at some in London, but ultimately always knew it wasn’t going to happen.

Besides, she doesn’t think she’d be able to spend another three to four years a couple thousand miles away from Maya. Half an hour is nothing compared to the entire ocean that was between them before, Riley can’t wait to be able to spend every weekend with Maya, to be able to go home together for holidays.

It’s not going to be easy, especially since she remembers all those years when they were younger and spent every day together, remembers how it felt to be able to have sleepovers out of the blue, but nothing with Maya is ever hard, and Riley knows that they’ll work through this just like they’ve worked through everything else; together.

She can’t rewrite history, can’t pretend that there haven’t been obstacles and speedbumps and raised voices, can’t say that they fell together perfectly. Riley can’t erase their past, but she can build a future, their future. It’ll be the two of them, like it’s always been, and there’ll be fights and disagreements and maybe a few slamming of doors, but Riley knows she loves Maya in the forever kind of way, and Maya loves her just the same.

Her girlfriend walks back into the room, holding a bowl she probably nicked out of one of the cupboards, already grumbling about how the kitchen is too small to navigate around, and Riley laughs, reaching to tug her closer, careful not to tip the bowl.

“You’re not even going to stay here, peaches.”

“Yeah, but I’m going to visit, and stay over for a bunch of weekends, so I’m technically part of the community that has to use the community kitchen.”

Riley beams, a warmth spreading in her chest at the thought of Maya spending nights here. “You better hope my roommate is cool.”

“If she’s not we’ll call the office and get a swap. Or you can just come over instead.”

They both pause, smiling at the thought of being able to casually pop by for no reason other than wanting to see the other.

“I don’t think they’d let me swap unless I have a very good reason.”

“Not being able to have your girlfriend stay over is a perfectly valid reason to request a roommate swap.”

“I have a feeling my RA is going to hate you.”

“Don’t care, as long as you don’t.”

Riley plucks the bowl of popcorn out of Maya’s hands, ignoring her soft exclamation and pulling so that she topples down onto the bed. “I could never,” she says earnestly, laughing as Maya’s cheeks dust with pink. “Love you, peaches.”

Maya rolls so that she’s sitting gently on Riley’s hips, leaning down to kiss her on the nose. “Love you too, Riles.”

August is melting into September, and soon they’ll have to start the next chapter of their lives. It’s not quite the same as graduating middle school, but Riley still feels the familiar anxieties that come with being tossed into an entirely new environment, the fear that people in a new place won’t like her.

She looks up at Maya, remembers freshman year of high school, and decides that she’s got nothing to worry about.

_“In any new place, or old place, or any place at all. I stay with her. I’m always with her. But I knew that a long time ago.”_

It’s always been them, since they first met. Head and heart, sense and sensibility, thunder and lightning, Riley and Maya. It’s always been them, and it always will be.

“Hey, Maya. Promise me we’ll always be together?”

Maya grins at her, all teeth and unrestrained happiness, her blue eyes bright in the semi-darkness of the room, and echoes Riley’s words from all those years ago, when they were just two kids balanced on the edge of the world and the only thing they were sure of was each other.

“We will always be together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might write an epilogue for this if I'm so inclined, but for all intents and purposes we're done! We've made it kids! 
> 
> I've had so much fun writing this, at first I just wanted to explore what would happen if Riley actually left for London but it morphed into me re-imagining an entire ending for the series. Thank you so, so, so much to everyone who stuck around, to everyone who commented, I've read every single one, I promise you that. This was my first, big, real multi-chapter fic and I'm so happy to have written it to it's end and actually committed to it, I never thought I could do this, so thank you for giving me the motivation to finish it.
> 
> Thank you once again for sticking with me through to the end and my apologies for absolutely horrific update schedules. 
> 
> Like always, you can find me on my [Tumblr](taylorswift.co.vu) if you ever want to talk, or just say hi in my askbox, I appreciate everything you guys ever say about my writing. Catch y'all on the flipside!

**Author's Note:**

> This is tentatively two parts and one epilogue but you know me, I'll probably end up writing a lot more than I expected, or if not, you can expect at the very least three chapters, find me on [tumblr](http//taylorswift.co.vu) if you wanna discuss my girls or just talk to me about stuff. I've just started part two, if you want a timeline on how long it'll take me to update.
> 
> EDIT: Listen to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtbDB4jaChQ) song while you're reading, or just to get in the Mood(tm)


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